700 billion, 25 billion, now that’s funny! i need about $17.89 to keep Foolish Times going for six months. I decided to go to Washington for a bailout- er, I mean an economic stimulus package. I’ve learned from my fellow moguls and won’t (can’t) repeat their mistakes. No private jet, no bonuses, no lavish weekend getaways to celebrate-I mean, recuperate- from all the hard work rehearsing how to grovel. I’ll hop a freight train, eat at soup kitchens, and stay at a Holiday Inn Express.
Well, gotta run- I need to hop the 1010 out of Oakland. Stay tuned.

Happy New Year!