Uh-oh. A black-and-yellow fuzzball the size of a winged guinea pig is straddling my sandwich. Whew! It’s a bumble bee, not a wasp. In the bug world, bees are the football linemen, intimidating yet mild-mannered, usually history majors. But the wasp families, including hornets and yellowjackets, resemble skinny basketball players with an attitude. And they crave meat-preferably still breathing.Discover the fascinating world of wasps through: (a) books; (b) picnics; and (c) mowing over a ground nest. Interactive learning is such fun! Wasp removal by lawnmower, however, is generally frowned upon by animal rights people and emergency room staff. So I make tiny traps out of staples and peanut shells, then release the caged individuals in another neighborhood. Not yours, I’m 50% sure. Read the rest of this article »

Last night my beagle beamed me a practiced Disney-cute look. But I’d fed her already. Or maybe not. Yes…no. Was I cuckoo bananas? The dilemma resolved with a whiff of her bunny-flavored kibble breath.

Some Boomers blame memory lapses on aging. Ha, ha, and I suppose they believe aging causes wrinkles too!?! True, we have empirical evidence that aging indeed causes birthdays, though for years I attributed my cognitive lapses to hormones, stress, and that Mercury retrograde thingy. But the real culprit? Crappy feng shui! Read the rest of this article »

“Eeyore, don’t pick your nose!” Waiting in the checkout line, I tore my attention from the tabloid photos of Big Foot’s fanny lift, to witness a boy mining his nasal Eeyorifaces and the droopy-eyed mom who resembled a donkey herself.

Obviously, popular names have changed a smidgen since Bobby, Tommy, Karen, and Darlene pranced across the original Mickey Mouse Club set. Gee whiz, Annette was such an exotic name! And if a parent yelled for John or Linda, half of the neighborhood kids deserted our backyard kickball game. Read the rest of this article »