jason love

Classic Pick: So It Goes – Jury Duty

January 1, 2010

I always thought jury duty was something you could politely decline. Like fruitcake. But recently, being summoned, I discovered that “jury service is not voluntary but a civic duty imposed upon all citizens pursuant to civil code section 204.” Desperate, I called my shrink for a note. “It’s jury duty, Jason. You can’t plead insanity.” [...]

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So It Goes – Dominican Republic

December 13, 2009

My amiga Yahaira wanted to show me her homeland, the Dominican Republic, where 62,000 of her relatives live. We met them all at the airport, a metric ton of strangers hugging me as their own. The DR comes in two parts: There is Santo Domingo, which rivals the finest capitals in terms of lodging, culture, [...]

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So It Goes – Televisions

November 8, 2009

Is it just me, or are TVs taking over the universe? They’re popping up in gas stations, waiting rooms, supermarkets, banks, beauty salons, HOTEL BATHROOMS. I myself don’t need a bathroom TV because I keep one in my underwear. “For those of you who owned a Walkman and were at least mildly aware of the [...]

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So It Goes

October 25, 2009

Stereo Type My neighbor across the street—the one who flies a pirate flag—is playing his music again. The volume is set on eleven. It’s never good music either; it’s always angry shouting by groups like Death Ass or Vomit. The musicians, who may or may not be on the same song, play extra loud so [...]

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So It Goes – Bingo!

September 7, 2009

Bingo “Let’s go to bingo!” “Um. Okay.” I didn’t know that young people could play bingo. I thought there was an age minimum, a picture of grandma reading, “You must be this old to enter building.” As we pulled into the church parking lot, I wondered how gambling fit into the scripture. And what it [...]

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So It Goes by Jason Love

August 4, 2009

Sports It’s that time again-time to isolate half of you by talking about sports. It’s just that sports is the only thing on TV that doesn’t make me want to jump out a window. My addiction started early, in pee wee soccer. When you’re four feet tall, you don’t understand the rules, per se; you [...]

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So It Goes – Driving

June 1, 2009

by Jason Love, Syndicated Humor Columnist  Driving When people see me drive, they have questions. For example, “What kind of idiot are you?” Well, I’m not the kind who keeps passing cars on the onramp until it becomes a merging crisis. I’m also not the kind with 10,000-lumen headlights that make you feel like you’re [...]

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So It Goes

May 1, 2009

by Jason Love, Syndicated Humor Columnist The Wide, Wide World of Competitive Eating Ever since curling found its way into the Olympics, our concept of sport has so devolved that ESPN is now televising darts. Call me old-fashioned, but when I turn on ESPN and people are throwing darts, they had better be aiming at [...]

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So It Goes – April 09

April 1, 2009

By Jason Love Population We’ve heard some bleak reviews of the human race, but deep down I think that people are generally… everywhere. Especially during rush hour. It’s not that people are bad; we’re just a little bit squished. Remember sixth-grade science? “See, Jimmy, as the rat population grows too dense, the animals start to [...]

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So It Goes – Artsy Mom

July 4, 2008

My mom has always been creative. A long time ago-back when “Saturday Night Live” was funny-she’d decorate cakes to look like soccer fields, pyramids, women endowed with Hostess Sno-Balls.You lost your innocence early in my home. Mom works for the bank-THE bank-so her creative urges surface through cracks in the sidewalk. She mostly takes it [...]

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So It Goes – Camping

May 1, 2008

Someone suggested that I take a long walk on a short pier… “You need to lighten up, man.” That was Yahaira. She used to be my wife; now she’s my best friend (she got demoted after our divorce). Yahaira lives down the street, and we gossip through the night about our love lives. “Let’s have [...]

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So It Goes – Norton Virus

April 4, 2008

It was a typical day—chop wood, carry water—when I got a pop-up from Symantec: “Your Norton virus definitions are about to expire. Renew now?” I thought virus definitions went on forever like the giant tortoise or Dick Clark. Evidently, they have to be renewed any time Norton demands “payment.” The Internet was such a good [...]

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So It Goes – Sperm Count

March 1, 2008

Due to technical difficulty, I scheduled with Dr. Klope a sperm count. Talk about tedious jobs. Can you see that poor guy over the microscope? “1,634… 1,635… wait, did I count that one?” Dr. Klope had one opening, eight a.m., which is way too early for sperm. A man might wake up with driftwood on [...]

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