humor horoscope

Fool-O-Scope

October 1, 2010

FOOL-O-SCOPE by Kiri Kinsey deSchtarz ARIES: And conquer! This is your month for the taking! TAURUS: You knew what was coming: Absolutley no more bullying allowed—not even playful bullying. You practiced last month, so this month you must perform only acts of outright kindness. Try to do this every day until you no longer have [...]

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Fool-O-Scope

April 1, 2010

APRIL BIRTHDAYS: February sometimes has 29 days and sometimes 28 days. It also is pronounced with or without the first “r.” Since this month is so lax, celebrate your birthday whenever the hell you want! ARIES (3/21-4/19): The American Revolution started with Paul Revere’s historic ride early one April. Start your own revolution this month. [...]

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Fool-O-Scope March

March 1, 2010

March birthdays: As you celebrate your birthday this March, remember that your greatest fortune is the large number of friends you have. Don’t worry about the fact that most of them are prison pen-pals. Worry instead about when they get out. ARIES (3/21-4/19): Nature, time, and patience are the three best physicians. Lucky for you. [...]

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FOOL-O-SCOPE February

February 1, 2010

February birthdays: February sometimes has 29 days and sometimes 28 days. It also is pronounced with or without the first “r.” Since this month is so lax, celebrate your birthday whenever the hell you want! ARIES (3/21-4/19): Ever see the movie “Groundhog Day,” in which Bill Murray re-lives the same day over and over? Well, [...]

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Fool-O-Scope – by Clair Voyant

January 1, 2010

January birthdays: Wow, it must be heavy to have a birthday during the bringing in of a new year full of rebirth, resolutions for self-improvement, and new goals, hopes, and dreams. Of course, if your birthday is at the end of the month, forget what I just said. ARIES (3/21-4/19): An old Scotch tune, “Auld [...]

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Fool-O-Scope – March 08

March 1, 2008

March Birthdays Your birthday this month can only be described as March Madness, a twenty-day birthday celebration that begins in March and ends sometime in April. ARIES (3/21-4/19): For you, March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. This means you behave like you’re the king of the jungle, your tail [...]

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Fool-O-Scope – December 07

December 1, 2007

December birthdays: You already know this month is full of Christmas festivities. But did you know it also contains National Bouillabaisse Day, which comes from the Provençal Occitan words “bolhir,” meaning “to boil fish,” and “abaissar,” meaning “on your birthday”? So instead of cake, pick up some conger eel, mullet, and scorpion fish.

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