Blog Archives

The Head Fool Speaks

To the person that just subscribed to FT sorry I misplaced your contact info(remembered to cash the check though ). Send me an email with your info. You’re still going to wait till I find the original, just checking the

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Posted in The Head Fool Speaks

Best of the Inbox

Penguin’s On Ice Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica – where do they go? Wonder no more!!! It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which

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Posted in Best of The Inbox

Adventures With Rex – The Pet Psychic

Rex and I happened to be driving down the street and I noticed the storefront of a pet psychic. I just had to stop. I pulled over, parked, and took my faithful companion in, tucked under my arm. Frugal by

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Posted in Adventures With Rex

Sugar Mama Got No Feelin’

My hip replacement went well, with no complications, although for some reason I thought liposuction would be included. I mean, the doc is already in there sawing and what-not, so why can’t he grab a surgical ice cream scoop and

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Posted in Posing As Normal

WHITE NOISE AND LOVING KINDNESS

I am trying to practice the Buddhist ideal of loving kindness. I try to catch bugs instead of kill them, talk to the ants who have made their way into my place, and generally be nice to other humans. I

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Posted in The Expiration Date

Your Smart Phone Calling…

Ring, Ring. San Francisco apartment. 7:00 a.m. Dave, an unemployed accountant, yawns and picks up his cell phone from the nightstand. “Hello, Dave, this is your Smart Phone calling.” “What?” says Dave. “Who is this?”   “No, really, this is

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Posted in Rosie Sorenson

I’m The World’s Largest Albino Pigmy

I am the world’s biggest … albino Pigmy. You didn’t know did you? The Pigmies don’t either. They don’t like the word Pigmy. Today, they go by the name “Baka.” Three times I have applied for membership to the tribe,

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Posted in Sammon Says

THE SUMMIT DUSTER

When I was 19 years old, my hair started to recede. I was very self-conscious about it. Most of the hair on top of my head was gone by my fortieth year. By that time I had a comb-over to

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Posted in Guest Articles

Enlightenment and My Laptop Power Cord

So, like me, you’ve probably read that the Chinese government wants to take over the job of picking the next Dalai Lama from the Tibetan Buddhists. While I have my suspicions about their motives, I’d like to offer a shortlist

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Posted in Guest Articles

KLEMENTEIN HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

Just when it seems as though nothing new or exciting will happen in 2011 that hasn’t already not happened by now, your network news breaks into Monday Night Football, smack dab in the middle of the fourth quarter, to drop

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Posted in Guest Articles

Lost Journal: Babysitter Could Child-care Less

Journal entry: July 9, 1980 (age 11)   Up until this summer, my 12-year-old brother Dan and I have had pretty good luck with our parents’ choice of babysitters. When we were very young, a grandmotherly woman named Daisy Cochrane

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Posted in Guest Articles

The Best of the Inbox

Fall Classes for Women at the Adult Learning Center   CLASS 1 Up in Winter, Down in Summer—How to Adjust a Thermostat Step by Step, with Slide Presentation Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday, for 2 hours beginning at 7:00

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Foolish Shorts

Q&A Two Minnesotans are sitting in a boat. Ole asks Sven, “Why do scuba divers always fall off ‘der boats backwards?” To which Sven replies, “Well, you know, if they fell forwards they’d still be in de boat.” So der

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Posted in Guest Articles

Foolish Laughs

Bottle of Wine A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works

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Posted in Fool Laughs

Foolish Thoughts

FOOLISH THOUGHT Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?   FOOLISH THOUGHT You don’t need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to

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Posted in Guest Articles

The Head Fool Speaks

In anticipation of the end of the world, I allowed myself to procrastinate more than usual. After all, no world, no issue. In light of our shortened deadline, we threw together what I believe to be the best issue ever.

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Posted in The Head Fool Speaks

Tony’s Ticklers

Tony’s Ticklers A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands

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Posted in Tony's Ticklers
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