Sammon Says – If Franz Kafka were Lou Costello

by John Sammon

in Sammon Says

sammon-fish-logo(A client gets a call from Bob Later.)

My name is Later, Bob. Just make it Later.

Okay, Bob.

I said to call me Later.

Okay, Bob.

Call me Later.

Okay. Bob.

I said to call me Later.

I already told you I would.

Good.

I’ll call you later, Bob.

No, just Later.

I already said yes.

Then why won’t you?

Why won’t I what?

Just call me Later?

I said I would. Why won’t you accept that?

Okay. No need to get angry.

By the way, what is your last name?

Later.

You won’t tell me?

I just did.

You did?

Yeah.

How come I don’t know what it is?

You do.

I do…what?

Know what it is.

If I know what it is, how come I don’t know?

It’s Later.

Later than what? Do you have a last name?

Yes.

Okay, what is it?

Later.

What’s your last name?

Later.

You’re refusing to tell me your last name.

No, it’s Later.

Okay, okay, I’ll find out later.

Find out what?

Your last name.

Later.

Right.

What?

Call you later.

Okay. I said to call me Later.

I just did.

What?

Call you later.

Okay.

I’ll call you back later.

My name is not Backlater.

Then what?

Just Later.

Justlater?

Than what?

Never mind.

You said I should take Nexus Drive then turn to the left?

Right.

Okay, that’s a left at Nexus.

No. Right.

What?

Right.

You turn left?

Not left, right.

What are you asking me for? You’re the one who knows.

Knows what?

Which way to turn.

Right.

So which way do I turn? Left, right?

Right.

Okay, I turn left.

No.

Which is right?

I told you.

No you didn’t.

Right.

You admit you didn’t tell me?

Right.

***
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