I may have to start shopping at Macy’s again. Oh, not for the clothes, but to thank them for AT LAST placing an ad in the “San Francisco Chronicle” that women can adore.Macy’s soft-core ads of females have appeared in the “Chron” for years. You know the ones-a nubile young thing wearing the latest in skimp, looking out at the reader with her “Come-get-it-big-boy!” stare. As a heterosexual woman, I’ve never figured out why these Macy’s ads should look like the covers of “Playboy,” which in turn look like the covers of “Cosmo.” It’s not like I’m going to drool over the models who appear there.

I guess the deal is that somehow I’m supposed to “identify” with the girl and to pretend I’m on the cover looking out at the masses of men with an inviting, yet sullen stare.

That always seemed a little kinky and convoluted to me. Perhaps someone has already written a dissertation about this, but I digress.

Only occasionally has Macy’s given us girls someone studly upon whom to cast our desire-gaze, but often the hairless boy-men they chose were not worth a second look. But, now! Now, they’ve given us (take a breath) David Beckham, and not just any old David Beckham. We’re talking full-page, ab-rippling, tattoo-sporting, thigh-spreading Beckham wearing only a fierce scowl and his “Emporio Armani” underwear. Oh, be still my hot little heart!

There he is on page “A7″ of the Sunday, June 8 issue (in case you want to look it up!) with his body hair intact. You gotta love Macy’s for that! The only complaint I have is that his “package” is presented all-too-modestly. This from a company that has no problem revealing ample implanted cleavage at every opportunity. What’s a girl got to do to get equal time around here?

During the interlude when I lived at Esalen in the 70’s I must have seen over 2,000 naked bodies of both sexes. So, it’s odd to me that whenever I read a review of a movie that states “nudity” is involved, you know it’s going to be a naked female, although that fact is never explicitly stated. If, on the rare occasion that there is male nudity, the reviewer usually makes a BIG deal of it, especially if it’s “full frontal.”

This is wrong. Women should demand equal time. I say we institute a new movie rating policy so that for every naked breast we see onscreen, we get to see an uncovered male package. Two breasts-two packages. You get the idea. How hard could it be to keep track of that? And, to kick off this new policy, my first choice would be: Beckham. Oh, and he can leave his Armanis at home.