by Kiri Kinsey DeSchtarz –
ARIES (Mar. 22-Apr. 19): Arise from the ashes of yesteryear, dear Aries, for you, like Alex Smith are no longer the goat of your game. May the Force be with you, all the way to the Super Bowl and beyond! Continue reading
by Quarlen Qurossman –
1. “Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.” Continue reading
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer – A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. “I think it’s raining,” he said to his wife. Continue reading
Seniors Are Smart – A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food. She picked up four cans and took them to the check-out counter.
The girl at the cash register said, Continue reading
Blonde Mortician – A man who’d had just died was delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asked the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. Continue reading
What is posthumous work?
Something written by someone after they are dead!
What is the most slippery country in the world? Continue reading
Hmmmmm – One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?” Continue reading
A Loving Grandad –
A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3-year old grandson. It’s obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits Continue reading
How do you keep your husband from reading your e -mail?
Rename the email folder “Instruction Manuals.” Continue reading
Around 1:30 on Saturday, I was feeling a little hungry so I stopped at Red’s donuts in Seaside for a feel good snack (shhh! Don’t tell the Doctor). When I got inside, Jose and Maribel were sitting at a table devouring what looked like a smorgasbord of Mexican and deli foods. Jose pointed to the donuts and with his mouth full said what I thought was help yourself. i grabbed an apple fritter, put a couple of bucks on the counter for the donut and tip. On the way out, Ii stopped by their table and thanked them for what was the best service I ever received in my 12 years of patronizing Red’s.
Let me know what you think of the new writers and DON’T FORGET THE ADVERTISERS!!
I saw a flock of wild turkeys the other day. Made me think of that special day when, those of us who eat turkey, spend an entire 24 hours plucking and roasting and eating. OK, I don’t actually pluck, but I have pluck and that’s what counts. This issue is full of pluck – or maybe that’s cluck or duck; I don’t know and I should since I’m the editor. What I do know is that pluck, cluck or duck doesn’t rhyme with humor and that’s what’s in this issue. Hmmm … what does rhyme with humor? Femur? Lemur? Memur …or wait, that’s my grandma. Enough already, huh?!
Laugh a lot this month. Check out the new features in this issue. Let us know if they made you giggle.
Happy OTD!
Last week I did something I had been putting off for years. I boxed up my bank statements from 1982, my ancient credit card bills and my old mortgage papers and took them for shredding to a company Continue reading
What is this world coming to?? A police SWAT team raided a mobile home last night on a tip that the residence was being used as a math lab. Authorities seized a cache of supplies for preparing the dangerously addictive math. Continue reading
It was a Saturday afternoon. I lay on my back on the living room couch, staring at the ceiling. Rex lay on the floor by the couch on his back, staring at the ceiling. Continue reading
I was standing in the bathroom recently, having just gotten out of the shower, when something suddenly dawned on me. Standing there in my birthday suit, I realized I was surrounded by beauty products. To the left and to the right, Continue reading
As I entered the crosswalk this afternoon in downtown Santa Fe (I had the light and the little walking man icon on my side), a car approaching from my left was aimed and headed through it too and Continue reading
by Michael Larson -
I just got laid off from a job that I really liked,
An HR Assistant for a local berry company, Continue reading