Backup In Case of Contingency

October 4, 2011

By Robyn Justo — Some species mate for life – man not being one of them, oddly enough. Swans, gibbons, bald eagles, some species of birds and even termites and some parasitic worms (know I’ve dated a few of those in my time, but purged them as quickly as possible.) And penguins are “serially” monogamous. [...]

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Knock Knock, Trick or Treat

October 4, 2011

By Tom Burns — This year we were going to do Halloween up right. I thought it would be fun to dress us up and go out Trick or Treating. I decided I would wear a Frankenstein mask

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An Interview with the World’s Longest Surviving Severed Head

October 4, 2011

By John Sammon — We are interviewing Loren C. Vandersnarff, the world’s longest surviving severed head. Mr. Vandersnarff, welcome to our Foolish Times studio.

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The Great Pacific Mall Race

October 4, 2011

By Michael Larson — I use shopping at Pacific Garden Mall in Santa Cruz as an exercise training program. It’s a physical, mental and emotional challenge just to get from one point to the next.

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Best of the Inbox

October 4, 2011

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. At Qantas, after every flight, the pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics [...]

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Fool On The Street

October 4, 2011

FT: Basil, what are going to be for Halloween? Basil: A bottle of gin. How about you? FT: Try to guess. I’m wearing tight pants,

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Fool-O-Scope

October 4, 2011

by Kiri Kinsey DeSchtarz — ARIES (Mar. 22-Apr. 19): Arise! Arise from the ashes and do a silly dance in celebration! TAURUS (Apr. 20-May 20): You are not a “saurus”—not a bronto nor a stego nor a tyranno rex. You are a bull. But that doesn’t mean you have to be a bully. BE NICE. [...]

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Quirky Quotations

October 4, 2011

The Quotation Quiz of Questionable Quality — by Quarlen Qurossman 1. “Wouldn’t this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive.”

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Foolish Short

October 4, 2011

Marriage Counseling — After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife come for counseling. When asked what the problem is, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade

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Blondes Are The Best

October 4, 2011

Rowing Your Boat — Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said “You know,

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Ye Olde Limerick Corner

October 4, 2011

GIANTS CAN RISE ANEW — My Giants are not in first place In the National League West pennant race But this time last year

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Editor’s Note

September 1, 2011

Hey, Basil is back. No, not the herb … that’s another guy. Beefeater Basil is our own Foolish Dear Abby. Got a question for him, send it to us and we’ll give it a royal send-off to the other side of the pond for an answer. Some funny stuff in this issue. Blondes really do [...]

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The Head Fool Speaks

September 1, 2011

No time for humor, gotta get ready for the hurricane! I know I live in California but tell that to my emotional self. I bought extra candles, a flash light and bottled water just in case. I’ve talked to my sister and several friends so many times looking for updates in N.Y. that they don’t [...]

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Fool On The Street

September 1, 2011

Basil, I’m thinking about tracing my family tree. Have you done that?

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Beware the Typo on Craigslust

September 1, 2011

By Mary Tompsett – Years ago I had a hip replacement and I liked the scar so damn much that I recently did the other one. Luckily, I’m finally out of hips to throw on the

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You Never Know

September 1, 2011

By Rosie Sorenson – If you’re one of those people whose every drawer, bookshelf, magazine rack and flat surface is perfectly ordered, nothing out of date, no dust bunnies in sight,

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Home Sweet Home

September 1, 2011

By Tom Burns – A friend, Amber, had come over to visit. As we sat on my back porch playing strip Monopoly, she brought something to my attention: Rex didn’t have a doghouse. “Poor Rexie,” she said. “His girlfriend Millie lives next door and has a very nice doghouse. Do you know how hard that [...]

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