by Akasha Halsey
At a book signing last night, the author mentioned a man who died when he was bumped over the edge of a cliff by a cow. A couple of things came to mind: “Great opening sentence” was one and then I thought, “Now THERE’S a story…” Cliff, edge, man—okay, kinda gets my interest; but add that cow and my mind just starts reeling. Also, it occurred in England, and I admit I don’t always “get” our friends across the pond. Who knows what a man-cow relationship is over there?
I mean, was it a love tap gone wrong or a revenge-filled, I-wish-I-had-a-horn-to-go-with-this-bump kinda thing?
Leaving aside a predilection in some areas for stories about men and barn animals, let’s assume the relationship between man and cow was “normal.” Were they strolling home at twilight, maybe on the “path less taken” as a lark?
There was no mention of scuffle marks, upturned sod, or other detritus. Just the bump over the edge of the cliff. I’ve read of relationships between humans and animals where a kind of psychic empathy occurs. Perhaps the man was at the end of his rope and his cow friend provided the bump he needed. But then I have to wonder, as his feet hit air, did he regret his last “conversation” with the cow?
I see I’ve assumed the cow belonged to the man. However, I cannot rule out random cow bumping. I know cows like to roam, eating at will and occasionally lifting their heads to see where that next tuft of grass lies. What I don’t know is what happens when that placid scene is disturbed unexpectedly.
What would you do if a cow came running through your living room while you were dining? It’s not out of the question to suggest you might overturn the table and start brandishing your knife. One brandish too many and oops—there’s your Christmas roast. Quite unintentional but nevertheless terminal. Remorse, sure, but there you go. From the cow’s perspective, the man may have been nothing more than a rather large fly. This scenario can only have been enhanced by the man’s pitiable attempt at flight after that cow bump.
So far, I’ve concentrated on the cow. But what could have been the man’s perspective?
I assume walking with the cow was not an unusual occurrence. Presence of a cliff suggests the countryside, a known habitat loved by cows. That would imply a desire to provide for the cow on the man’s part, if not a certain fondness.
I’m not much of an expert on animals, but I have to assume the cow had come to expect to see the man a couple of times a day. How then to explain that bump, especially at cliff’s edge? Was the man possessed of melancholy, perhaps an incurable illness? The cow, sensing the man’s mood, may have wished to return the favor of the man’s care for it. Given the limited resources available to the cow, that bump over the edge can be seen as a loving gesture.
However, I cannot get out of my mind the man’s body hurtling through space, destined for a landing that would be painful and certainly not pretty. What went through his mind during those brief moments? Was his last thought one of a cow? I would hope my last thought would be more on the spiritual side, although I do admit I have a fondness for Holsteins. Did relief wash over his body? On second thought, that metaphor doesn’t work too well, given gravity and acceleration in free fall.
I find myself longing to know the answers to these questions and it occurs to me that it may have been lack of answers that drove the man over the edge of the cliff in the first place.
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A Southern belle, four decades removed, and a lifelong spiritual seeker, Akasha Halsey holds her experiences with Alabama Baptists as high as those with Buddhists in Katmandu. Her belief in the greatness of each individual guides her current career, certified professional coach. All this, plus her bold humor and her quirky outlook on life, make her a sought-after speaker and facilitator.
