My wife and I are attending a wedding today, and while the happy couple is probably stressing out about flowers, candles, music, and which foot goes first, we’re very busy eating cereal and drinking coffee. Our time has come and gone, and it is a beautiful feeling.There was a day when we spent our waking hours poring over guest lists, color selections, flower arrangements, table settings, reception locations, photography, music, linens, and varieties of pasta. In reality, Lyndsay-a my wife-spent her waking hours poring over these things, while I took on the role of the Traditional Groom, which is: to do almost nothing. But don’t get me wrong, I was an active participant in our pre-nuptial preparations. I did every single thing that was asked of me. I attended all significant wedding-related functions, including meeting the caterer, who-by the way-served us an excellent lunch during our meeting.

CATERER: Cory, what would you like to dip in the chocolate fountain?

CORY WITH MOUTH FULL: ISS iza good tookey sanwich!
But, honestly, when it came down to it, on the day of our wedding ceremony my primary objective was: to shave. And even that wasn’t so bad because Lyndsay let me keep a little facial scruff. Partially because it makes me look manly, but primarily because without it, I resemble a twelve-year-old. I had to show up and look good, because that is what is asked of the Groom.

My point is that the bulk of wedding preparations do not tend to fall upon those of us with the Y-chromosome. But don’t think we’re not willing! No: we will help design the programs. We will gather mailing addresses from our friends and family. We will tell you which color we prefer as soon as we’re sure it is the same color you prefer. We will-with fervor-choose between the chicken or the steak.

But the truth is that our masculine brains do not possess the capacity to deal with the amount of detail involved in putting a wedding together. This is why Lyndsay is the default Administrator of our household. Not because I don’t care about the day-to-day details of our lives, but because I forget to pay attention to the necessary elements of our existence, like getting smog checks for the cars, paying bills, cleaning dishes, and personal hygiene. “Did you brush your teeth today?” is a common question in our home.

Weddings take a lot of work. And while so many people will refer to your Wedding Day as “The Happiest Day Of Your Life,” the actual Happiest Day is probably the next day, when the wedding is over and you are married. Yesterday you became legally wed. The event was wonderful and perfect. You looked good, the music was on time, and even the mistakes were enjoyable. For example, the fact that you couldn’t-even with the help of three other people-light the unity candle, only served to lighten the mood, and should not be taken as a foreshadowing of any future disunity, if you catch my drift.

Your friends were there, and they were happy for you. You saw people you hadn’t seen in years, eager to embrace you and your spouse. Your extended family members, whom you had never met, were there, and they brought you gifts! Your parents were there, wiping tears of joy, and discussing the appropriate time to ask about grandchildren.

The food was plenty, the wine was good, and you dipped bananas and apple slices in the chocolate fountain. If anything went wrong at all, it didn’t really matter, because Yesterday was a very Happy Day.

But Today is even better because you are eating Eggs Benedict and you are alone with your new spouse in a new, and possibly Very Remote Location, just enjoying being with one another. There is no wedding to plan, no invitations to send out, no relatives to please, and no major discussion to have beyond where to eat lunch, and if they have quality beer on tap. Today, even in the midst of your stressful travels, you will be reveling in the glory of your marriage. So embrace your new spouse with the kiss of a passionate lover! And remember to brush your teeth.

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Cory Pina lives in Modesto, California. Check out his blog at ThisIsCory.com