Thank You for HONNNNKKKK

You know who you are. Every morning you pull up next door to pick up my neighbor for work. But instead of getting out of the car and ringing his doorbell, you sit there and lay on the horn. HONNNNKKKK. HONNNNKKKK.
Such a lovely sound! I look forward to it every day. How else would I know how early in the morning it was if you weren’t sitting out there blaring your horn repeatedly like an easily amused moron? HONNNNKKKK. HONNNNKKKK. How fun! HONNNNKKKK. HONNNNKKKK.
My neighbor knows you’re coming to pick him up. But for some reason he’s never out there. HONNNNKKKK. So he must enjoy the sound too. HONNNNKKKK. HONNNNKKKK. He must consider it one of the day’s blessings, like the sound of a child laughing or a kitten mewing. HONNNNKKKK. HONNNNKKKK. HONNNNKKKK.
Of course, you could get out of your car and ring the doorbell. You’ve heard of doorbells, right? They don’t make a HONNNNKKKK sound, but they’re still pretty fascinating. They make a lovely little note that can only be heard inside a house. It’s more of a private sound between you and your friend. Some would say it’s more considerate than sitting out there in your car and HONNNNKKKK laying on the horn like a HONNNNKKKK idiot.
By the way, you do know that the car horn is supposed to be used for emergencies, right? Not for HONNNNKKKKing to let people know you’re too lazy to get out of the car and ring a doorbell.
Don’t you enjoy all the HONNNNKKKKs going on in this piece? Isn’t it lovely and HONNNNKKKK beautiful to hear all these HONNNNKKKKs going on when you’re HONNNNKKKK trying to read? HONNNNKKKK. HONNNNKKKK. HONNNNKKKK.
Imagine how lovely it is when you’re trying to sleep! HONNNNKKKK. HONNNNKKKK. HONNNNKKKK. HONNNNKKKK. HONNNNKKKK.
If you love it so much, you should HONNNNKKKK make yourself a relaxation CD full of HONNNNKKKK HONNNNKKKK HONNNNKKKKs to put yourself to sleep at night. Why don’t you do that? Oh, that’s right. Because it’s annoying. HONNNNKKKK. HONNNNKKKK. HONNNNKKKK.
In fact, it’s exactly the kind of thing you’d find irritating HONNNNKKKK if someone were doing it to you. Why, if it were you, you’d probably call the police, wouldn’t you? HONNNNKKKK. HONNNNKKKK. HONNNNKKKK.
But nobody’s doing it to you, and you don’t care about anyone else, right? So HONNNNKKKK. HONNNNKKKK. HONNNNKKKK.
Hey, I’m glad to hear you HONNNNKKKKing every day, because it reminds me of the lack of common courtesy most people have. You illustrate the lost concept of thinking of others besides yourself. For example, right now, I’m thinking of you. HONNNNKKKK. HONNNNKKKK. HONNNNKKKK.
I hope you keep it up, I really HONNNNKKKK do. Because one of these HONNNNKKKK days I’m going to call the police. And when they don’t show up, I’m going to come out there and tell you to go HONNNNKKKK yourself. Heck, I might even HONNNNKKKK you right in the HONNNNKKKK.
And boy. That will feel HONNNNKKKKing good.