Aged like my grandfather’s wind-up Victrola,
I love the scent of a fine Gorgonzola.
Velveeta’s cheap and tastes much cruder.
Substitute a wedge of Gouda.
Cheddar’s sharp but eggs taste better
Mixed with salty cheese like Feta;
Add a chunk of warm bologna
Topped with shredded provolone.
Eyes like pearls-some large, some smaller-
Wink in wheels of Emmentaler.
“Paradise is lost,” wrote Milton,
“If you’ve used up all your Stilton.”
Though I’d never go for broke f’r it,
I’d invest in caves of Roquefort;
And if I had euros to spare,
Some shares of Brie or Camembert.
Cheeses love me, yes I know.
For my tummy tells me so.

I planned a feast day in Chicago
While I nibbled Asiago.
When compiling shopping’s roster,
Added in some Double Gloucester.
Chilled six packs of Danish Carlsberg
Taste just great with bites of Jarlsberg.
To make my hors d’oeuvres extra hearty-
Chip dip made from Cream Havarti.
Pizza’s fine with Mozzarella.
Makes a man a happy fella.
Taco’s tasteless? Man, just say so.
Order everything con queso.
Sweets to follow abalone-
Tir’misu con Mascarpone.
Cap the ev’ning’s luscious fare
With port wine, pears, and sliced Gruyere.
Appetite such fare appeases-
What a friend we have in cheeses!

A Poem by Kerry Wood