The Three Little Pigs
Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order.
“I would like a Sprite,” said the first little piggy.
“I would like a Coke,” said the second little piggy.
“I want beer, lots and lots of beer,” said the third little piggy.
The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.
“I want a nice big steak,” said the first little piggy.
“I would like the salad plate,” said the second little piggy.
“I want beer, lots and lots of beer,” said the third little piggy.
The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.
“I want a banana split,” said the first little piggy.
“I want a cheesecake,” said the second little piggy.
“I want beer, lots and lots of beer,” exclaimed the third little piggy.
“Pardon me for asking,” said the waiter to the third little piggy, “but why have you only ordered beer all evening?”
The third little piggy says, “Well, somebody has to go ‘Wee, wee, wee, all the way home’!”
This Month’s Blonde Joke
One day a blonde office worker comes out to the warehouse to walk around. As she is walking she looks up and sees a coworker hanging upside down from an I-Beam in the ceiling.
She asks, “What ARE you doing”?
The coworker says, “I need a few days off, but the boss won’t let me have them, so I’m hanging upside down from this I-Beam acting crazy. The boss will see me, think I need rest, and send me home for a few days.”
The blonde says, “That won’t work. Uh-oh, here comes the boss now. You’re in for it.”
The boss spots the blonde looking up and sees the man hanging there. “Just WHAT do you think you are DOING?!!” he asks.
The man says, in a “crazy” voice, “I’m a light bulb…I’m a light bulb…”
The boss says, “Buddy, you need some rest. Take the rest of today and tomorrow off and get some sleep.”
As he is climbing down he winks at the blonde, showing her it worked.
The blonde starts to follow the man out the door.
The boss asks her, “Where do you think YOU’RE going?”
The blonde says, “I can’t work in the dark.”
The Date
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man.
He snatches it out of the air and hands it back.
“Oh, my, I am so sorry, “ the woman says as she pops the eye back in place. “Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.”
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater, followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed! Everything had been so wonderful!
“You know, “ he said, “you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet? “
“No,” she replies. “You just happened to catch my eye.”
