Steal these jokes.
The Loan
One day while at her job as a bank loan officer, Patty Black had a frog hop onto her desk and say, “I would like to apply for a lily-pad improvement loan.”
Patty looked incredulously at the frog and said, “I’m sorry, we don’t loan money to frogs.”
The frog replied, “I have collateral,” and he handed her a small ceramic trinket.
Not wanting to be impolite, Patty said, “I don’t know. I’ll have to talk to the bank manager.”
She walked back to the manager’s office and said, “There’s a frog out there, asking for a lily-pad improvement loan, and this trinket is all he has for collateral.”
The bank manager took the trinket and examined it carefully. Smiling, he said, “Why, it’s a knick-knack, Patty Black. Give the frog a loan!”
Haircut
Chris had just turned sixteen, and like a lot of kids his age, had very long hair. He went to his dad and asked for a special birthday present: a new car. His dad replied, “Son, I’ll buy you any car you want as long as you raise your grades and cut your hair.” Chris agreed to the deal.
The next week, Chris brought home his report card. He had raised his C’s to B’s and his B’s to A’s. His father said, “I’m proud of you, son.”
Chris figured the timing was right, so he said he really wanted a red convertible.
His dad said, “Sorry, you haven’t cut your hair yet.”
Chris said, “Well, Jesus had long hair.”
His dad said, “Yeah, and he walked everywhere he went.”
This Month’s Blonde Joke
Did you hear about the two Blondes who were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater?
They went to see “Closed for Winter.”
Foolish Jr. Laughs
“Jokes for the Grandkids”
Q: What’s the longest word in the dictionary?
A: The word “smiles,” because there’s a “mile” between each s.
Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away?
A: A taxi driver.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.
Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
A: It barked with de-light!
Q: What is a baby’s motto?
A: “If at first you don’t succeed, cry, cry again!”
