FoolishTimes http://www.foolishtimes.net Laugh It Up! Mon, 03 Jun 2013 22:35:13 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 Editor’s Note http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/editors-note-38/ http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/editors-note-38/#comments Mon, 03 Jun 2013 15:11:49 +0000 Susan Hart http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=7452 June … the beginning of summer. Kids are out of school … aaaaah! What to do? Keep laughing with Foolish Times! Jokes galore, games to play, prizes to win … what could be better! We have another new writer this…
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]]> http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/editors-note-38/feed/ 0 The Head Fool http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/the-head-fool-14/ http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/the-head-fool-14/#comments Mon, 03 Jun 2013 15:10:12 +0000 Mike M. http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=7450 I was cleaning out my inaccurately named walk in closet the other day and the first box I pulled out was full of notebooks and pad’s. You know what I mean, the fits in your pocket or not, opens left…
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]]> http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/the-head-fool-14/feed/ 2 The Emerging Possum http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/the-emerging-possum/ http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/the-emerging-possum/#comments Mon, 03 Jun 2013 15:06:06 +0000 Mary Tompsett http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=7446 Sonofagun, I filled out a life expectancy questionnaire and discovered I could live to be 100. Egad! This means I’ll probably outlive everyone I know. Obviously, I need to make lots of new, YOUNG friends and then hope to God…
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]]> http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/the-emerging-possum/feed/ 0 ET, Clone Home http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/et-clone-home/ http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/et-clone-home/#comments Mon, 03 Jun 2013 15:05:11 +0000 Rosie Sorenson http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=7444 Cloning an extinct species seems to be the new Chia Pet among scientists these days: I want to bring back a woolly mammoth! I want to bring back a dinosaur! I want to do a Neanderthal! Everyone wants to hop…
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]]> http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/et-clone-home/feed/ 0 The Birds and the Bees http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/the-birds-and-the-bees/ http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/the-birds-and-the-bees/#comments Mon, 03 Jun 2013 15:03:48 +0000 Tom Burns http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=7442 Rex sat on the kitchen table, waiting for his next portion of cheese and cracker. It was high time I had a talk with him. THAT talk . . . the birds and the bees. “So Rexie, it’s like this.…
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]]> http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/the-birds-and-the-bees/feed/ 0 Making it into Comedy http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/making-it-into-comedy/ http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/making-it-into-comedy/#comments Mon, 03 Jun 2013 15:02:32 +0000 Rex Keyes http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=7440 Many years ago, while living in Alaska, my wife and I were getting cabin fever. We decided to get away from the snow and long dark nights by taking a two week vacation to visit relatives and friends in the…
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]]> http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/making-it-into-comedy/feed/ 0 Cell’s Bells http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/cells-bells/ http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/cells-bells/#comments Mon, 03 Jun 2013 15:01:40 +0000 Ted Gargiulo http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=7438 Dear Mr. Service: Dupe Cellular, Inc. Two Shoes, Nebraska Attn: Customer Service Please know that my wife and I are abysmally dissatisfied with your products. As per the terms of our 30-day risk-free trial, we’re returning both our cell phones…
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]]> http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/cells-bells/feed/ 0 Quirky Quotations http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/quirky-quotations-18/ http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/quirky-quotations-18/#comments Mon, 03 Jun 2013 15:00:15 +0000 Quarlen Qurossman http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=7435 The Quotation Quiz of Questionable Quality 1. “Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.” A. Matt Groening B. William Shakespeare 2. “You know you are…
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]]> http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/quirky-quotations-18/feed/ 0 Ancient Mariners http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/ancient-mariners-2/ http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/ancient-mariners-2/#comments Mon, 03 Jun 2013 14:54:43 +0000 Anonymous http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=7425 The Truth at Mid-life Mid-life is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, you have to pay someone to look at you naked. The good news about mid-life is that the glass is…
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]]> http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/ancient-mariners-2/feed/ 0 Blondes Are the Best http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/blondes-are-the-best-15/ http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/blondes-are-the-best-15/#comments Mon, 03 Jun 2013 14:53:52 +0000 Anonymous http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=7424 Car Trouble A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, “What’s the story?” He replies, “Just crap in…
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]]> http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/blondes-are-the-best-15/feed/ 0 Best of the Inbox http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/best-of-the-inbox-34/ http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/best-of-the-inbox-34/#comments Mon, 03 Jun 2013 14:53:17 +0000 Anonymous http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=7422 Thanks to George Scofield How do you decide who to marry? Out of the mouths of babes! You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports,…
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]]> http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/best-of-the-inbox-34/feed/ 0 Tony’s Ticklers http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/tonys-ticklers-30/ http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/tonys-ticklers-30/#comments Mon, 03 Jun 2013 14:52:36 +0000 Tony Deakin http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=7420 What’s Easier? A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said “OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah…
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]]> http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/tonys-ticklers-30/feed/ 0 Advice for Employee Seekers http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/advice-for-employee-seekers/ http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/advice-for-employee-seekers/#comments Mon, 03 Jun 2013 14:50:06 +0000 Debbie Harris http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=7432 With today’s tight job market, a lot of advice in newspapers, magazines, job sites, and the Internet is aimed at helping job seekers to secure that perfect paying position. As someone who has been seeking full-time employment for many, many…
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]]> http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/06/advice-for-employee-seekers/feed/ 0 Editor’s Note http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/05/editors-note-37/ http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/05/editors-note-37/#comments Thu, 02 May 2013 12:55:23 +0000 Susan Hart http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=7383 We’re celebrating May this month because it’s my birthday! So, I give everyone permission to eat chocolate cake while you’re reading Foolish Times! Our Name-the-Foolish Mascot contest overwhelmed us with a plethora of entries; so many that we just can’t…
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]]> http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/05/editors-note-37/feed/ 0 The Head Fool http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/05/the-head-fool-13/ http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/05/the-head-fool-13/#comments Thu, 02 May 2013 12:54:05 +0000 Mike M. http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=7379 For those of you fortunate or unfortunate enough to have been reading FT back in the days of The Fool (original name) those zany sea gulls Cane & Able are back. (Make sure you wear a hat)! If anyone knows…
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]]> http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/05/the-head-fool-13/feed/ 0 Hatchets With a Heart http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/05/hatchets-with-a-heart/ http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/05/hatchets-with-a-heart/#comments Thu, 02 May 2013 12:52:03 +0000 Mary Tompsett http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=7375 JC Penney announced in March that it cut 1,500 jobs, but few people know that the company also received the coveted Mother Teresa Award for compassionate termination. On the day they were axed, employees reportedly broke down in tears. But…
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]]> http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/05/hatchets-with-a-heart/feed/ 0 The Lawn Flamingo War http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/05/the-lawn-flamingo-war/ http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/05/the-lawn-flamingo-war/#comments Thu, 02 May 2013 12:50:38 +0000 Tom Burns http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=7371 Rex was fast asleep on the back porch hammock. It was eleven in the morning. It was his second nap of the day. “Rex, get up you lazy bum. I’ve just added a little something to set our house apart…
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]]> http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/05/the-lawn-flamingo-war/feed/ 0 Sound Track of Love http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/05/sound-track-of-love/ http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/05/sound-track-of-love/#comments Thu, 02 May 2013 12:49:13 +0000 Rosie Sorenson http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=7367 There’s a new soundtrack to our lives. Sometimes we hear a B-flat, sometimes an A, sometimes a trill. With each note we’re reminded that every cat snores to her own drummer. You heard right – Sweetie Pie snores. Who knew?…
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]]> http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/05/sound-track-of-love/feed/ 0 Fool-o-Scope http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/05/fool-o-scope-28/ http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/05/fool-o-scope-28/#comments Thu, 02 May 2013 12:47:46 +0000 bini http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=7364 Aries – March 21 – April 19 the Ram In the garden of Aries, there are no shrinking violets, just soggy daisies due to the constant territorial obsession. Your truest friends are the Aries fairies that carry the harried Aries…
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]]> http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/05/fool-o-scope-28/feed/ 0 Firm Balls, Please http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/05/firm-balls-please/ http://www.foolishtimes.net/2013/05/firm-balls-please/#comments Thu, 02 May 2013 12:46:08 +0000 Hunter Kosmala http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=7360 Beep. Beep. “Have a good day,” said Amanda as she checked the guests ID cards as they entered the fitness center. “Have a good workout,” her bubbly voice pushed them down to the locker room. A man walked in with…
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