I’ve been trying to write this note for several days. Every time I start to write (”We’re havin’ a party”), an old sixties song (”everybody’s swinging”) pops into my (”dancing to the music”) head (”on the radio”). By the time I dance and sing it a few times, I need a nap. That’s the main reason we’re only having one party. We’ll be doing a belated birthday party at Monterey Live soon. On the 23rd of August we will be showing two great comedies at The Golden State Theatre-one of my favorites, Abbott & Costello’s “Hold That Ghost,” and the comedy hit of the summer (to be determined). There’ll be free pizza and Coke for all attending. Free Foolish Times T-shirts for the first 50 paid customers. Bring the kids-it’ll be G-rated. Check out the cover of this issue for the details. See you there!Don’t Forget the Advertisers!

The “Refrigerator Man” is gone but not forgotten! I can’t help but smile when I think of the hours and hours of belly laughs George Carlin brought to my life. Thanks, George!

Had a little detour myself last week, so we’re a little behind on the party planning for the Foolish Times 5-year birthday. Here’s what we have so far.1. August 23: two comedy movies (to be determined) at the Golden State Theatre. Another to-be-determined comedian in-between.

2. August 20: Comedy night at Monterey Live with audience participation.

3. Prizes and surprises!

Look for posters at local stores.

Check the websites: Goldenstatetheatre.com, Montereylive.com, Foolishtimes.net. We’ll post more information as we figure it out.

Don’t Forget The Advertisers!

We’re having a gigantic celebration! Yup, in honor of our fifth birthday this August, Foolish Times is having a birthday bash! Look for details in next month’s issue. Here’s a list of events we’re working on:* Classic comedy films at the Golden State Theatre
* Live burlesque
* Comedy Challenge at Monterey Live
* Brazilian drummers
* Maybe a parade! Come join the fun!

This issue has some great new writers and cartoons-check them out. There are more pages and some great new advertisers too.

Wow! That’s almost too much good stuff for me to handle at one time. To get some balance I’ll just take a trip to the DMV.

Don’t Forget The Advertisers!

All’s right with the world! The world of Foolish Times, that is. All the BS going on in the world today has created a perfect storm for Foolish Times. People are flocking to our publication so fast we have to increase the number of copies distributed (next month) to avoid some of the hostility caused when there are none to be found. Distribution points are calling for more copies to be delivered to calm the angry patrons not finding their beloved respite from the real (fill in the blank) world.

We have a slew of new advertisers (although I still can’t pay the rent), thanks to the response you’ve given to the ones who have been with us for a long time. Give ’em a call and welcome them aboard! John Sammon of “Sammon Says” fame (monthly columnist in FT) has joined our staff as Sales Director. He will be glad to explain the benefits of our low-cost advertising. Call him at 648-1038 or email john @foolishtimes.net.

The Unknown Cartoonist is back. And I’m not asking, just glad to have you back!

Basil the Beefeater at the Crown & Anchor was given a reprieve for now, so stop by and say hello.

Enjoy!

This is a sad day for Foolish Times. None of the usual methods of communication have produced a cartoon for this month’s issue from THE UNKNOWN CARTOONIST! I’ve checked and rechecked every nook and cranny, thinking I must have put it somewhere for safekeeping (you know, the kind of place that gives up its treasure only after it’s too late). No luck. We’ve heard some rumblings of foul play. When Tony and Sara at the Crown & Anchor heard of UC’s plight they immediately called and offered a reward (fifty dollar gift certificate) for the whereabouts of UC. This is most gracious of them, seeing as how they’re in the midst of their own situation with Basil the Beefeater, who guards the entrance to the Crown & Anchor.  We will be flying our flag at half mast here at the FT offices and wearing green armbands till we have closure on the fate of THE UNKNOWN CARTOONIST!

Enjoy!
P.S. Don’t Forget The Advertisers!

I no longer hate elevators. As a kid growing up in New York it was torturous having to ride 30, 40 or more floors to the sound of Muzak (pumped in, easy listening, brainless, no attention required noise) played on elevators. We used to laugh at the sterile non-offensive soft sounds that would accompany every ride. I can remember joking, “You’ll never hear the Stones or Pink Floyd here.” Was I ever wrong. I don’t quite know when it happened but it did. Last time I was in New York I had to take the elevator to the 39th floor of 500 Fifth Avenue. I was dreading the ride. I was pleased to hear a cut from Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here” album. That is, happy till I heard this twelve- or thirteen-year-old brat—er, child—behind me turn to her friend, laughing, and pointing up to the speaker and saying “I hate elevators!” At least my grandsons think I’m KEWL!

Enjoy!

Okay, okay! We’re growin’ and it ain’t funny. We have new writers, cartoonists, puzzles, and the catch-all, to be determined, waiting in the wings. We need your help deciding who or what goes and stays. We’ve already decided to take out the Sponsor a Fool column—costs us too much (you do the math, 41 cents postage due for a 25-cent donation). The Help Out An Old Fool survey will disappear in three months, never to return except when too many of our staff are on a binge, off their meds or… The crossword, it’s a pain in the butt to draw all those boxes by hand (we do paper, rock, scissors, every month to see who’s stuck), so let us know, in or out. Email or Snail Mail us what you think about our regular columnists.
Check out “Pick Up a Real Paper” for a list of places you can pick up a copy of the paper.
P.S. Don’t Forget The Advertisers!

Those of you who have been reading Foolish Times for awhile know that I’ve already made my New Year’s resolutions and broken them (avoid the rush). Now I can sit back and laugh, watching the rest of you white-knuckle it trying to keep yours. Good Luck!
Happy New Year!

P.S. Don’t Forget The Advertisers!

Now I know what the saying “Getting old isn’t for the faint of heart” means. While crossing Alvarado Street last week, just about in the middle of the road, I had a lightheaded, dizzy, loss-of-balance type feeling. Not the kind from growing up in the 60’s, but a real attention-grabber, like Fred Sanford’s “the big one.” The next thing I remember was some kid yelling, “What’s the matter with you, old man? Stopping in the middle of the street, I coulda killed you!” Read the rest of this article »

It must be the water! Every month we receive twenty or so emails, phone calls, press releases, or letters from (fill in the blank), promoting something or going on about a political party, politician, the weather, save the apple moths, or from some other cause or movement of the day. These folks don’t get. We’re about having a good time, not saving the world—unless it’s through laughter. Read the rest of this article »

Long ago (50 years), far away (outside N.Y. city), there was a monopoly that owned anything to do with telephones. I mean we’re talking the lines, we’re talking phones (rotary), directory assistance, long distance, local calling, repair. You name it, they owned it all. We had a local calling area that covered 10 miles north (all trees) and 1.25 miles south, where most people lived. You didn’t have to worry about talking to anyone in your calling area because it was a fixed rate, unlimited usage per month. The only problem was Read the rest of this article »

Wow! It’s hard to believe this issue starts our fourth year of publication. To celebrate we’re having a party (any excuse will do). Our advertisers have graciously contributed over a thousand dollars in prizes and a surprise or two. Come join us on Sunday, August 19th at Mexcal restaurant. Free food (to die for), music, dancing, and the aforementioned prizes. Check the ad in this month’s issue for details. Those of you who have been to one of our shindigs (see the cover) pass the word to your friends. Come on out and meet the crew that’s crazy enough to work for next to nothing each month and put out a pretty damned good product as can be attested to by our growth, from 6,000 a month, to this September’s 20,000! Thanks to our advertisers, who believe that a customer who can read and likes humor can’t be all bad. Most of all, thanks to you, the readers, who laugh out loud and don’t take life too seriously. It makes not paying the bills worth it. See you at the party!

Don’t forget the advertisers!

Here we go again—another anniversary! This issue marks three full years of publishing Foolish Times/The Fool. That means it’s time for another PARTY. On the 19th of August bring an appetite for food, laughs, and music to Mexcal restaurant and get your fill. There will be plenty of prizes, which I’ll talk about next month. We don’t want to run out of food and prizes, so if you’re planning to attend, use our Contact Form and let us know.

The reward still stands for the identity of the Unknown Cartoonist. We are Read the rest of this article »

I was standing in line at the post office the other day passing time with a full-of-life eighty-something. We were laughing about nothing important when a seventy-some-odd who just left the counter comes up to us with his hand open and says, Look at this, no wonder the post office is broke. His hand had thirty-four cents in it. Read the rest of this article »