The Expiration Date

The Expiration Date: I Should Have Been a Bad Kid

May 1, 2010

When I was a baby, Mom had a hard time keeping me still, and one day I did a back flip out of her arms and landed on my head on a silver box. The doc said that I was fine. The box, however, was not, which is a testament to the hardness of my [...]

Read the full article →

The Expiration Date: We Are Dirty Little People

April 1, 2010

I think we’re dirty. We must be. We need a lot of soap. I realized this when I ran out of hand soap the other day and had to think twice about whether it would be ok if I used a little of my dish soap, just until I made it to the store. I [...]

Read the full article →

The Expiration Date: We Are the Avatars

March 1, 2010

In the beginning was the Word, and Microsoft did not create it. Our lives are being continually downloaded with words and data that are exponentially increasing in both volume and speed: Facebook, that narcissistic playground for adult children who no longer feel comfortable in public screaming “Mommy, Mommy, look what I can do!” and have [...]

Read the full article →

The Expiration Date ~ Sound Bites!

February 1, 2010

Maybe there’s something wrong with me. I’m sure that there are a lot of folks who might attest to this. But I am sitting here in my Los Gatos studio listening to my thirty-year-old (or older) refrigerator compressor rattling on and off every five minutes (blowing its ancient dust all over my floor), yet my [...]

Read the full article →

The Expiration Date – The Story of Storage

January 1, 2010

I remember reading a line in “The Autobiography of a Yogi” years ago. The less you have, the less you have to worry about. It’s true. A feng shui-practicing buddy of mine tells me that if I don’t absolutely love it, look at it, use, or wear it, I should get rid of it. This [...]

Read the full article →

The Expiration Date

December 13, 2009

I’ve been a successful businesswoman over the years and so far have lived most parts of my life rather conservatively and used my head most of the time. I don’t take big chances on Wall Street or need the adrenaline rush of bungee jumping or high-risk living. Regarding my love life though, some would beg [...]

Read the full article →

The Expiration Date – Terror at 30,000 Feet

November 8, 2009

One of my readers wrote to me the other day and told me to stick to my dating stories and not rant about NASA. But every once in a while, I think something is more important than dating when someone decides to bomb the moon or someone dies and I have to attend the funeral. [...]

Read the full article →

The Expiration Date: Moonstruck

October 25, 2009

I love the moon. When I was a little girl, I remember throwing a fit because it wouldn’t come in the house and play with me after I had watched it longingly from the back seat of my Dad’s car all the way home one night. “Come in, moon!” I pleaded. “Honey, it can’t,” Dad [...]

Read the full article →

The Expiration Date – Why God Created Skin

September 7, 2009

If we weren’t meant to be separate, God wouldn’t have created skin. It keeps our mushy stuff inside and other people outside (unless they are invited in, figuratively and literally). Where my skin starts, everyone else stops, or they should. Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes I have strange thoughts. When I’m safely alone (and this could [...]

Read the full article →

The Expiration Date – The Ex-stacy of Ex-orcism

August 4, 2009

By Robyn Justo Ok, I’ll admit it. The first few weeks after a break-up (even if I initiated it and was the first to find the closest ex-it), I shouldn’t be around anyone. I’m not fit for human consumption. All I can think about is him. The good, the bad, the ugly, what he did, [...]

Read the full article →

The Expiration Date – Things That Stick (Or Go Bump in the Night)

June 1, 2009

I might sound like Andy Rooney, Maxine, or just an aging cantankerousaurus, but why do things stick when they aren’t supposed to and don’t when they should? It’s kind of like relationships. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older, but when things are in my hands, they tend to fall out. And sometimes I stand there, [...]

Read the full article →

The Expiration Date – May 09

May 1, 2009

The Legend of a Modern-Day Cowboy People tell you all you need to know about them within the first twenty-four hours. On our first date, an ex-boyfriend told me that he was a pathological liar. It was the only time he ever told me the truth. With the weekend fast approaching, I accept a “safe” [...]

Read the full article →

The Expiration Date – The Bachelors April 09

April 1, 2009

The show supports a guy having multiple women. Brigham Young, bring ‘em on. Think about it. Twenty-five women and one guy. All televised. Big ratings. Hell, I was riveted every Monday night. Knowing how I am, I put myself in the position of one of the twenty-five, seemingly lobotomized (but beautiful, if not surgically enhanced) [...]

Read the full article →

The Expiration Date – Dog Tired, or Sleepless and Single in a Small Space

March 1, 2009

Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m turning into one of those crotchety old people. I don’t know. I seem to have lost my patience these days, with dating (or trying to) and other things, even the incidentals of life. While doing my laundry the other day, I found myself wrestling with my hangers. They were all [...]

Read the full article →

The Expiration Date – Mission Impossible

January 7, 2009

Most of us know that Clint Eastwood has a place in Carmel called Mission Ranch. When he won the Oscar for “Million Dollar Baby,” he even gave the folks there (which included me from time to time) an honorable mention. I like going there because, instead of feeling like I could babysit most of the [...]

Read the full article →

The Expiration Date – A Hallmark Commercial

November 1, 2008

My comments and opinions have been rather brutal regarding dating sites, but I have always secretly hoped to hear one of those success stories (something I could personally relate to and not a contrived Eharmony infomercial showing those goofy people who look like brother and sister and probably are). So let me start at the [...]

Read the full article →

The Expiration Date – Death by Meatball

October 9, 2008

Sometimes we are better off not knowing some things. Take high cholesterol, for instance. I was doing fine until a few years ago when I was told that mine was off the charts and that I would need to take drugs to get it down (translation: immediately age twenty years and inherit the energy level [...]

Read the full article →

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →