Sammon Says

I am the world’s biggest … albino Pigmy. You didn’t know did you? The Pigmies don’t either. They don’t like the word Pigmy. Today, they go by the name “Baka.” Three times I have applied for membership to the tribe, and three times I have been ignored, after completing the entrance test. I know I [...]

The rampant growth of slobism worldwide is as distressing as it is disappointing, and disproves Darwin’s Theory of Evolution that things evolve for the better and more sophisticated. In short: Slobs are taking over. Think I’m wrong? Book an airline flight. Go ahead. I dare ya. Not only is the plane smaller to stretch fuel [...]

(Note to readers: I’m seriously contemplating syndicating nationally a comic strip about two mischievous boys, and here is a preview for readers of Foolish Times, ten possible set-ups (scenes) for the strip. The boys’ names are Sam and Googie. Sam is the older of the two boys. Let me know, anybody out there, if you [...]

You may have heard of the book, Men are From Mars, Women From Venus. That’s ridiculous! But it is true that women are descended from birds. Men from hogs. I have clinically proven in laboratory studies conducted in my garage that women, not dinosaurs, share DNA and character traits with birds. Just think of the [...]

A boss calls an employee into his office to tell him he is fired, terminated. Those words are not politically correct today, so more wimpy ones are used, with the resulting confusion as seen below. (Boss to employee): Thank you for coming. (Employee): No problem. I’m sorry I have to tell you this. Don’t be.

We’ve all heard the phrase, “No man is an island.” Well, baby, I’m an island. I’m the closest thing to it. I’m a rock. And a rock feels no pain. And an island never cries. Shielded in my armor. I’ve got my poetry to protect me. I touch no one and no one touches me!