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	<title>FoolishTimes &#187; Rosie Sorenson</title>
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	<description>Laugh It Up!</description>
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		<title>I Have a Bone to Pick …</title>
		<link>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/i-have-a-bone-to-pick-%e2%80%a6/</link>
		<comments>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/i-have-a-bone-to-pick-%e2%80%a6/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 06 Dec 2011 21:30:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rosie Sorenson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rosie Sorenson]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=2530</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Rosie Sorenson &#8211; Who among us has not seen Sally Fields hawking on television the virtues of Boniva, the bone-enhancing drug? Still perky after all these years, when Sally flashes her “You-like-me-you-really-like-me smile,” you want to believe her. But, hold on a minute. What’s this? I was reading Parade Magazine (October 6, 2011) when [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Yours, Mine, Ours</title>
		<link>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/yours-mine-ours/</link>
		<comments>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/yours-mine-ours/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 Nov 2011 18:15:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rosie Sorenson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rosie Sorenson]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=2458</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Last week I did something I had been putting off for years. I boxed up my bank statements from 1982, my ancient credit card bills and my old mortgage papers and took them for shredding to a company in El Cerrito called “No Trace.” No Trace is not your typical document destruction company. According to [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/yours-mine-ours/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>TSA Reject</title>
		<link>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/tsa-reject/</link>
		<comments>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/tsa-reject/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 Oct 2011 22:12:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rosie Sorenson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rosie Sorenson]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=2361</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Rosie Sorenson &#8212; You know you’re over the hill when you can’t even get a pat down from the TSA. Last weekend, Steve and I stood in the security line at the Oakland airport on our way to Los Angeles to visit his son. I hadn’t been there in over a year and I [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/tsa-reject/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>You Never Know</title>
		<link>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/you-never-know/</link>
		<comments>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/you-never-know/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 02 Sep 2011 04:32:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rosie Sorenson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rosie Sorenson]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=2276</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Rosie Sorenson &#8211; If you’re one of those people whose every drawer, bookshelf, magazine rack and flat surface is perfectly ordered, nothing out of date, no dust bunnies in sight, then this piece is not for you. Sorry. I’ll make it up to you next month. If you’re like me, however, and the entirety [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/you-never-know/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Hoofing It To Hog Heaven</title>
		<link>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/hoofing-it-to-hog-heaven/</link>
		<comments>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/hoofing-it-to-hog-heaven/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Aug 2011 16:15:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rosie Sorenson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rosie Sorenson]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=2174</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Rosie Sorenson &#8211; Steve and I had a blast at the Marin County Fair watching two-month-old porkers race their little piggy hearts out for their reward of Cookies ‘n Cream ice cream. We chatted up the owners of The Hambone Express prior to the first race, and they told us that the little porcine [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/hoofing-it-to-hog-heaven/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Your Smart Phone Calling…</title>
		<link>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/your-smart-phone-calling%e2%80%a6/</link>
		<comments>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/your-smart-phone-calling%e2%80%a6/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 07 Jul 2011 05:42:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rosie Sorenson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rosie Sorenson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor article]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor columnist]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=2105</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ring, Ring. San Francisco apartment. 7:00 a.m. Dave, an unemployed accountant, yawns and picks up his cell phone from the nightstand. “Hello, Dave, this is your Smart Phone calling.” “What?” says Dave. “Who is this?” &#160; “No, really, this is your Smart Phone.” “Get out of here,” Dave says, rolling over and leaning on his [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/your-smart-phone-calling%e2%80%a6/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>How to Trap a Homeless Cat (With a Little Help from the Irish…)</title>
		<link>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/how-to-trap-a-homeless-cat-with-a-little-help-from-the-irish%e2%80%a6/</link>
		<comments>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/how-to-trap-a-homeless-cat-with-a-little-help-from-the-irish%e2%80%a6/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 07 Jul 2011 05:18:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rosie Sorenson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rosie Sorenson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[humor columnist]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=2081</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[First Step: Take two swigs of Bailey’s Irish Cream. Oh, none for me, thanks, but you’re going to need it for your first go-round at trapping a homeless cat. Pick up the smooth dark bottle, cool to the touch; twist off the black plastic cap (snap!). Inhale the spirit of Ireland as you hoist the [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/how-to-trap-a-homeless-cat-with-a-little-help-from-the-irish%e2%80%a6/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>“Maybe Tomorrow…”</title>
		<link>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/%e2%80%9cmaybe-tomorrow%e2%80%a6%e2%80%9d/</link>
		<comments>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/%e2%80%9cmaybe-tomorrow%e2%80%a6%e2%80%9d/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 06 Apr 2011 05:17:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rosie Sorenson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rosie Sorenson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor article]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor columnist]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=1971</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I was going to write something funny today about the meaning of life, or about the Middle Eastern Meltdown, or about my lack of a cosmetic surgery fund, but then I accidentally tuned into “Philosophy Talk.” Philosophy Talk is an entertaining public radio show featuring John Perry and Ken Taylor, both Stanford University philosophy professors. [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/%e2%80%9cmaybe-tomorrow%e2%80%a6%e2%80%9d/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>“But, Officer…”</title>
		<link>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/%e2%80%9cbut-officer%e2%80%a6%e2%80%9d/</link>
		<comments>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/%e2%80%9cbut-officer%e2%80%a6%e2%80%9d/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 04 Mar 2011 05:09:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rosie Sorenson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rosie Sorenson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor article]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor columnist]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=1895</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I was driving down the Richmond Parkway last week when I spied in the distance a highway patrolman standing near his vehicle pointing at me with his radar gun. Well, not at me personally, but me as one representative of the driving population. Since I was going a tad bit over the 50 mph limit, [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/%e2%80%9cbut-officer%e2%80%a6%e2%80%9d/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Please Let Me Help You</title>
		<link>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/please-let-me-help-you-2/</link>
		<comments>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/please-let-me-help-you-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 03 Feb 2011 05:57:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rosie Sorenson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rosie Sorenson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor article]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor columnist]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=1871</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I don’t know why people are so worried about the economy these days. Why, after scoffing at my New Age friends for saying things like “Trust in the Universe, it will provide” and for their insistence that I read the bestseller The Secret and watch the accompanying video, I now have more money than I [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/please-let-me-help-you-2/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>Blowing Bubbles in North Korea</title>
		<link>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/blowing-bubbles-in-north-korea/</link>
		<comments>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/blowing-bubbles-in-north-korea/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 03 Jan 2011 20:27:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rosie Sorenson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rosie Sorenson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor article]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor columnist]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=1824</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We could end the mess with North Korea right now if only Kim Jun Il would allow his successor son, Kim Jong-Un, to chew gum. Rumor has it that the twenty-two-year-old future leader of North Korea was punished at his Swiss boarding school for blowing bubbles in class and for not disposing of his gum [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/blowing-bubbles-in-north-korea/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>I Am So, So Sorry</title>
		<link>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/i-am-so-so-sorry/</link>
		<comments>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/i-am-so-so-sorry/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 04 Dec 2010 01:17:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rosie Sorenson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rosie Sorenson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor article]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor columnist]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=1793</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook, owes us an apology. By “us,” I mean the entire friggin’ universe. How so, you ask? Well, for starters, he should apologize for lulling us into a trance of connecting more and more about less and less. He should apologize for creating all the bits and bytes that allow us [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/i-am-so-so-sorry/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>“That’s H-A-L-L-E”</title>
		<link>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/%e2%80%9cthat%e2%80%99s-h-a-l-l-e%e2%80%9d/</link>
		<comments>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/%e2%80%9cthat%e2%80%99s-h-a-l-l-e%e2%80%9d/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Nov 2010 20:02:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rosie Sorenson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rosie Sorenson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor article]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor columnist]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=1764</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I don’t know about you, but most of my days are pretty ordinary. Oh, sure, there’s the occasional jumping out of an airplane, or the losing of $10 million to Bernie Madoff, or the winning of the Tour de France, but those things don’t happen every day. At least not to me. The most exciting [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/%e2%80%9cthat%e2%80%99s-h-a-l-l-e%e2%80%9d/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>My Stalker and I</title>
		<link>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/1699/</link>
		<comments>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/1699/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 01 Oct 2010 16:18:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rosie Sorenson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rosie Sorenson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[humor columnist]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=1699</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I finally have something in common with Julia Roberts, Renee Zellweger, and Paula Abdul. I, too, now have a stalker! My stalker is of Asian descent, an uber-stealthy blonde with dark highlights. She’s unafraid, unabashed, unashamed. For those of you who’ve not yet made her acquaintance, you might look at her and think Siamese cat. [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/1699/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Willie, What Have They Done to You?</title>
		<link>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/willie-what-have-they-done-to-you/</link>
		<comments>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/willie-what-have-they-done-to-you/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 02 Aug 2010 07:07:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rosie Sorenson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rosie Sorenson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=1633</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I had just logged onto AOL this morning to check my email when I saw it! There, in the headlines of their eye-catching, rotating parade of news bits: “Willie Nelson Cut His Hair.” A bob cut, no less. To make matters worse, the bob is red. Oh, say it ain’t so, Willie! I met Willie [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/willie-what-have-they-done-to-you/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Something Fishy</title>
		<link>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/something-fishy/</link>
		<comments>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/something-fishy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 01 Jul 2010 18:11:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rosie Sorenson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rosie Sorenson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Something Fishy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=1572</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You know the fish oil capsules you’ve been taking by the handful to protect your heart? Read on! According to a recent article in the San Francisco Chronicle (March 22, 2010), ten popular over-the-counter fish oil supplements were found to contain polychlorinated biphenyls, or PCBs, which are known to cause cancer and/or reproductive harm. Sadly, [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/something-fishy/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Grounded by a Gray Cat</title>
		<link>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/grounded-by-a-gray-cat/</link>
		<comments>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/grounded-by-a-gray-cat/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 01 Jun 2010 19:26:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rosie Sorenson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rosie Sorenson]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=1489</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Steve and I share the same birthday. We were all excited about celebrating at Point Reyes National Seashore, staying overnight at our favorite motel, until we thought of Jake. Jake is a twelve-pound, short-haired gray male kitty who adopted us eight months ago. We didn’t mean for this to happen, but Jake showed up unannounced [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/grounded-by-a-gray-cat/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>Pancake Therapy</title>
		<link>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/pancake-therapy/</link>
		<comments>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/pancake-therapy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 02 May 2010 01:33:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rosie Sorenson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rosie Sorenson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pancake Therapy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=1430</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Pancake and Waffle Mix. OMG! Eating these addictive pancakes reminds me of heroin, not that I’ve ever used heroin, but the way I’ve heard it described—that irresistibly good feeling—is not unlike the delicious serotonin high that I’ve gotten from these pancakes. Yes, they’re THAT good, and if you know what’s good for [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/pancake-therapy/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Rest Assured</title>
		<link>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/rest-assured/</link>
		<comments>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/rest-assured/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 01 Apr 2010 23:38:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rosie Sorenson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rosie Sorenson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rest Assured]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=1344</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“You can now scoff at your overloaded multitasking brethren who surely don’t remember half of what they have been trying to stuff into their neocortexes because they’re not taking sufficient rest breaks.” Just because I’m sitting at my desk with a faraway look in my eyes doesn’t mean I’m goofing off. On the contrary, I [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/rest-assured/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Killer Apps</title>
		<link>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/killer-apps/</link>
		<comments>http://www.foolishtimes.net/rosie-sorenson/killer-apps/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 01 Mar 2010 23:38:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rosie Sorenson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rosie Sorenson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Killer Apps]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.foolishtimes.net/?p=1290</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“I suddenly became the new owner of two huge machines that looked like space capsules, complete with 747 consoles. A lot had changed at Whirlpool in twenty-five years.” If prior to purchasing my new washing machine I had read the operating instructions, I would have gone back to beating my clothes on the rocks at [...]]]></description>
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