Guest Articles

Foolish Shorts

July 6, 2011

Q&A Two Minnesotans are sitting in a boat. Ole asks Sven, “Why do scuba divers always fall off ‘der boats backwards?” To which Sven replies, “Well, you know, if they fell forwards they’d still be in de boat.” So der you have it.

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Foolish Thoughts

July 6, 2011

FOOLISH THOUGHT Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?   FOOLISH THOUGHT You don’t need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

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Lost Journal

July 6, 2011

Having never kept an actual journal, Mollen writes these columns in retrospect. For each column, he chooses a different day in his lifetime, and writes about it as though it were today. A particular entry may be about a day last week, or Halloween 1980, or the day he was born. Some of you may [...]

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The Accidental Psychic

July 6, 2011

Just because I sat too long lingering over a cafe au lait, my body betrayed me. Apparently cutting off my circulation for an hour and a half on the rim of a bentwood chair was a bad thing. Now I had to have a needle inserted in my arm once a month to make sure [...]

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Inboxes

July 6, 2011

They Walk Among Us! Some guy bought a new refrigerator for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying, “Free to good home. You want it, you take it.” For three days the fridge sat there without even one person [...]

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Foolish Thoughts

July 6, 2011

FOOLISH THOUGHT Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary.   FOOLISH THOUGHT Just remember, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

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Foolish Shorts

July 6, 2011

Did you hear about the two antennas who got married? The wedding was terrible, but the reception was great!

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Kids Jokes

July 6, 2011

Q: What game do cows play at parties? A: Mooosical Chairs.

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My Lucky Day

July 6, 2011

I’m a gambler. High stakes, slots, Texas Hold ‘Em, bet-on-anything kind of guy. Card games are a great way to make spare change. Although my concentration and professional skill is in Lotto jackpot winnings and scratch-and-win games. I’ve scratched more at the 7-11 than a camper sleeping on a bed of poison ivy. Ever seen [...]

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The Way It Used to Be (Around Here)

July 6, 2011

As a youthful visitor from San Francisco to Pacific Grove during the summer months of the 1970s, I covered much of the Peninsula on my bicycle pulled by my dog, a rat-terrier pointer mix named Bosco. As an example of wilderness, I found many sights ready to explore for such an adventurous youth in his [...]

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Sweatin’ Out Satan

July 6, 2011

Actual story from The Washington Post: WARSAW, Poland, Feb. 11 (UPI)—Roman Catholic regions of Europe are seeing a resurgence of exorcism, the rite of expelling evil spirits from tortured souls. Informal efforts to train more exorcists began under Pope John Paul II when the Vatican formally revised and upheld the rite for the first time [...]

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Dear Clint Eastwood

July 6, 2011

Dear Clint Eastwood, May I call you “Clint”? Or do you prefer “Mr. Eastwood”? You make the call, Clint! (Mr. Eastwood.) Let’s go with “Clint” for now. Clint, if you’re reading this, it means a couple of things. First, that we’re both readers! Boy, I sure remember learning how to read. Don’t you? Gripping that [...]

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Golfers Go for the Gusto at the 19th Hole

July 6, 2011

It’s a commonly known fact that golfers like to spin tales while relaxing after a strenuous day of chasing a little round ball with a bag full of sticks around thousands of yards of manicured lawn.   The best story, of course, is “The Day I Played Pebble.” I’m not sure if the listeners are [...]

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Bubba’s Big Adventure

July 6, 2011

Except for one other couple, Bubba and Birdie were the only customers in Hungry Harv’s Hash House. Bubba thought Birdie was cute enough; the nose ring made her sort of exotic, and she’d been around: Georgian by birth, Floridian by choice. But Bubba Turnipseed was bored. Three weeks with Birdie had set a record. Once [...]

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Your Girlfriend’s Cat

July 6, 2011

Let’s call her Muffy. The cat, not your girlfriend. Why Muffy? It just seems like a good name for an utterly repugnant creature. The cat, not your girlfriend. She hisses at you. She swipes at you if you try to pet her. She hops up on the coffee table to block your view of that [...]

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Foolish Shorts

April 5, 2011

The very latest, whipped up by our Doctors of Jokology. The Fan A woman had 50-yard-line tickets for the Super Bowl. As she sat down, a man came along and asked her if anyone was sitting in the seat next to her. “No,” she said, “the seat is empty.” “This is incredible,” said the man. [...]

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Tony’s Ticklers

April 5, 2011

Desert Island Rescue A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship.” The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “It’s not a boat.” The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s [...]

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