In the era of high economic uncertainty, there is one product that is head and shoulders above the others in the “more for the money” category. Dental floss is a bargain! The top-of-the-line high-quality floss is $3.98 for 100 yards of the stuff. Better yet, you can get good-quality generic floss for less than $2 for the same quantity. That works out to less than 2 cents per twelve inches. Try and find that price when looking for a foot-long hotdog or hoagie!

The days of penny candy may be gone but penny floss (which also sounds like the name of an innocent school girl, or a bad rendition of a misquoted Beatles song) is a product whose time has come! Dentists who have captured every source of the tooth decay market have overlooked this one golden nugget. Read the rest of this article »

Aside from the regular cackling heard during “girl’s night out” regarding this column’s title, the axiom’s validity can now be heard on the lips of disgruntled grocery store patrons everywhere.

Let’s clarify what we’re shopping for here. There needs to be some “bulk” in the supermarket products we buy, or our price-per-pound will seem like lopsided chicanery has grasped our food supply.

For instance, check out the half-gallon of Edy’s Ice Cream, and you might find that it has suffered the spell of a head-shrinking witchdoctor. It looks as cylindrical in its usual creamy-good packaging, but in reality the company has shrunk that sucker enough to fool the hasty five-items-or-less-aisle customer.
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The powers that be could vote to change America’s car fleet fuel system at any time. In order to switch from dead dinosaur-goo-powered propulsion to water- or air-driven engines to save the planet from the Abominable Global-Warming Monster, all Congress has to do is wave its petroleum-soaked wand.

Abracadabra! We could change into a gluttonous sweet-toothed, sugar-cane-driven nation to fuel our cars. Read the rest of this article »