Ghost Story
An out-of-state traveler was hitchhiking on a dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so hard he could barely see his hand in front of his face.

Suddenly he saw a car approaching, moving slowly and appearing ghostlike in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped. Wanting a ride very badly, the guy jumped into the car and closed the door. Only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of the engine to be heard over the rain. Read the rest of this article »

The Question
As a pre-med student, I had to take a difficult class in physics. One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A student rudely interrupted to ask, “Why do we have to learn this stuff?”

“To save lives,” the professor responded quickly, and continued the lecture.

A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?” he persisted.

“It usually keeps the idiots like you out of medical school,” replied the professor. Read the rest of this article »

Two-By-Fours
Some men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the men walked into the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.”

The clerk asked, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?”
The man said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck. He returned and said, “Yeah, I meant two-by-fours.”
The clerk said, “All right. How long do you need them?” The customer paused for a minute and said, “I’d better go check.” Read the rest of this article »

The Drink
A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one swig, and then turns to the guy with a menacing stare as if to say, “What’cha gonna do about it?”The poor little guy starts crying.

“Come on, man. I was just giving you a hard time,” the biker says. “I didn’t think you’d CRY. I can’t stand to see a man crying.” Read the rest of this article »

The New Baby
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the sight of the ugliest baby he had ever seen.

He told his wife, “There’s no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?” Read the rest of this article »

Little Old Lady
A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. When he stopped, she stopped.Furthermore she kept staring at him.

She finally overtook him at the checkout, and said to him, “I hope I haven’t made you feel ill at ease, it’s just that you look so much like my late son.”

He answered, “That’s okay.”

“I know it’s silly, but if you’d call out ‘Good bye, Mom’ as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy.”

She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, “Goodbye, Mom.”

The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him. Read the rest of this article »

The Bottle and the Bomb
Once upon a… plane there were three people flying to New York. They had been flying for so long and were beginning their descent.

“Excuse me, I have a bottle, what should I do with it?” asked one of them to the flight attendant.

“Oh, just throw it out the window,” said the flight attendant.

“Okay,” said the person, throwing the bottle out the window. Read the rest of this article »

Cannibal Fruit
One day there were three friends in a forest. They were walking around when they were captured by a tribe of cannibals. The cannibals hit them on the top of the head with a rock. It made the three friends unconscious. Read the rest of this article »

Some good jokes with a couple of so-so jokes thrown in to fill space.

The Hangover
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party.

As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Read the rest of this article »

A couple of good jokes, with some so-so jokes thrown in to fill space.

Barber Shop
A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?”
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, “About two hours.”
The guy left. Read the rest of this article »

The Mechanic and His Dog
A mechanic who worked out of his home had a dog named Mace. Mace had a bad habit of eating all the grass in the mechanic’s lawn, so the mechanic had to keep Mace inside. The grass eventually became overgrown. Read the rest of this article »

This Month’s Blonde Joke
A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. Read the rest of this article »

The very latest jokes (note that, in some instances, “latest” means “deadest”)

This Month’s Senior Joke
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip.

When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table. She didn’t miss them until they had been driving about twenty minutes. Read the rest of this article »

Jonah and the Whale
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. Read the rest of this article »

Freshly coined jokes, with a few encore presentations sprinkled in.

Under the Table
A man and woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared. Read the rest of this article »

The Gas Station Promotion
A gas station owner in Alabama was trying to increase his sales. So he put up a sign that read, “Free Sex With Fill-Up.” Read the rest of this article »