Best of The Inbox – April 08

Posted on April 4, 2008 by Jonathan D.R.

Best of The Inbox The Importance of Walking
Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she’s 97 years old and we don’t know where the hell she is.

The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. Continue reading →

Best of The Inbox – March 08

Posted on March 1, 2008 by Jonathan D.R.

Best of The Inbox I Love My Job
Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.

He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.

Needless to say, she won. Continue reading →

Best of The Inbox – February 08

Posted on February 2, 2008 by Jonathan D.R.

Best of The Inbox 1977-2007
This is for those whose level of maturity qualifies them to relate to it…
1977: Long hair.
2007: Longing for hair.
1977: KEG.
2007: EKG.
1977: Acid rock.
2007: Acid reflux.
1977: Moving to California because it’s cool.
2007: Moving to Arizona because it’s warm.
1977: Trying to look like Liz Taylor.
2007: Trying NOT to look like Liz Taylor.
1977: Seeds and stems.
2007: Roughage. Continue reading →

Best of The Inbox – January 08

Posted on January 1, 2008 by Jonathan D.R.

Best of The Inbox Top Seven Morons of 2007
1. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, “Please come out and give yourself up.” Continue reading →

Best of The Inbox – December 07

Posted on December 1, 2007 by Jonathan D.R.

The best online humor and jokes we could find. Ok, I guess we could have searched a bit harder.

Holiday Eating Tips 101

Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.

Continue reading →

Best of The Inbox – November 07

Posted on November 1, 2007 by Jonathan D.R.

Best of The Inbox

Humor for Lexophiles (Lovers of Words)

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Continue reading →

Best of The Inbox – October 07

Posted on October 1, 2007 by Jonathan D.R.

Modern Wisdom
Birds of a feather flock together—and crap on your car.
When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

A penny saved is a government oversight. Continue reading →

Best of The Inbox – September 07

Posted on September 1, 2007 by Jonathan D.R.

A virtual smörgåsbord of jokes and otherwise funny stories e-mailed to Foolish Times.

Test for “Mature” Kids
This is a test for us older kids! The answers are printed below, but don’t you cheat!
READY? Here we go!
1. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, “Who was that masked man?” Invariably, someone would answer, “I don’t know, but he left this behind.” What did he leave behind?____________ Continue reading →

Best of The Inbox – August 07

Posted on August 1, 2007 by Jonathan D.R.

A virtual smorgasbord of jokes and otherwise funny stories e-mailed to FoolishTimes.

Laws of the Natural Universe
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. Continue reading →

The Best of the Inbox – July 07

Posted on July 1, 2007 by Jonathan D.R.

Police Comments
These 16 police comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:
#16:”You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”
#15:”Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”
#14:”If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.” Continue reading →

T-Shirts

Posted on June 1, 2007 by Jonathan D.R.

A Washington Post columnist runs a column each summer listing interesting t-shirts observed at the Ocean City, Maryland beach. Here are some examples:

Continue reading →

Do You Remember These?

Posted on June 1, 2007 by Jonathan D.R.

Saturday morning serials, chapters 1 through 15,
Fly paper, penny loafers, Lucky Strike Green, Continue reading →

Costello Calls to Buy a Computer from Abbott

Posted on June 1, 2007 by Jonathan D.R.

To really appreciate this you have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on… Continue reading →

How to Call the Police When You’re Old and Don’t Move Fast Anymore

Posted on June 1, 2007 by Jonathan D.R.

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. Continue reading →

Letter to the Bank

Posted on June 1, 2007 by Jonathan D.R.

Shown below is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86-year-old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. Continue reading →

Next Stall

Posted on June 1, 2007 by Jonathan D.R.

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: “Hi, how are you?” Continue reading →