Best of The Inbox

Best of the Inbox

October 25, 2009

This Is Happening Right Here In Our Own Country! Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper, groceries are heavier, and everything is farther away? Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become! And people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak [...]

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Best Of The Inbox

September 7, 2009

Comebacks to Pickup Lines Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine. Man: So, what [...]

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Best of the Inbox

August 4, 2009

YOU’RE AN EXTREME REDNECK WHEN… 1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. 2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it. 3. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws. 4. You [...]

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Best of the Inbox

July 1, 2009

Three Mysteries-Can You Solve Them? MYSTERY NUMBER ONE A man was found murdered Sunday morning. His wife immediately called the police. The police questioned the wife and staff and got these answers: The wife said she was sleeping. The cook was preparing breakfast. The gardener was gathering vegetables. The maid was getting the mail. The [...]

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Best of the Inbox

June 1, 2009

MIND MASS A study just released by the prestigious Institute of Physical Intelligence strongly indicates that thoughts contain mass and that the utilization of thought can reduce brain mass. The study, conducted on 76 subjects, was performed with highly sophisticated brainwave and infinite mass spectrographometers capable of detecting the most minute (0.1 x 10 -24 [...]

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Best of The Inbox – March 09

March 1, 2009

Humor for Lexophiles (Lovers of Words) 1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. 2. Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. 3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now. 4. To write [...]

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Best of the Inbox – Jan 09

January 7, 2009

Hits for Aging Baby Boomers Some of the artists of the 60’s and 70’s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers. They include: Herman’s Hermits—Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Walker Ringo Starr—I Get By With a Little Help from Depends The Bee Gees—How Can You Mend a Broken Hip [...]

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Best of The Inbox – November 08

November 1, 2008

Investment Tips With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros. and the acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America, this might be some good advice. For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the [...]

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The Best of The Inbox – Sept 08

September 1, 2008

Worry Is there a magic cut-off period when offspring become accountable for their own actions? Is there a wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug, “It’s their life,” and feel nothing? When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors [...]

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Best of The Inbox – August 08

August 9, 2008

Embarrassing Medical Exams True stories as told by the doctors themselves… 1. A man comes into the ER and yells, “My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab!” I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly, I noticed that there [...]

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Best of The Inbox – July 08

July 2, 2008

And They Ask Why I Like Retirement! Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday. Question: When is a retiree’s bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Question: How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all [...]

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Best of The Inbox – June 08

June 7, 2008

Nutritional Guide For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer [...]

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Best of The Inbox – May 08

May 1, 2008

Texas Chili Cook-Off Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-Off about the time Halloween comes [...]

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Best of The Inbox – April 08

April 4, 2008

The Importance of Walking Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she’s 97 years old and we don’t know where the [...]

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Best of The Inbox – March 08

March 1, 2008

I Love My Job Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM [...]

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Best of The Inbox – February 08

February 2, 2008

1977-2007 This is for those whose level of maturity qualifies them to relate to it… 1977: Long hair. 2007: Longing for hair. 1977: KEG. 2007: EKG. 1977: Acid rock. 2007: Acid reflux. 1977: Moving to California because it’s cool. 2007: Moving to Arizona because it’s warm. 1977: Trying to look like Liz Taylor. 2007: Trying [...]

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Best of The Inbox – January 08

January 1, 2008

Top Seven Morons of 2007 1. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, “Please come out [...]

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