Best of The Inbox

Best of the Inbox

January 4, 2012

Don’t mess with old farts! A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily.

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Best of the Inbox

December 6, 2011

Seniors Are Smart – A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food. She picked up four cans and took them to the check-out counter. The girl at the cash register said,

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Best of the Inbox

October 4, 2011

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. At Qantas, after every flight, the pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics [...]

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Best of the Inbox

September 1, 2011

Bertha and Betty Two 90-year-old women, Bertha and Betty, had been friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Bertha was dying, Betty visited her every day.

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Best of the Inbox

July 6, 2011

Penguin’s On Ice Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica – where do they go? Wonder no more!!! It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family [...]

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The Best of the Inbox

July 6, 2011

Fall Classes for Women at the Adult Learning Center   CLASS 1 Up in Winter, Down in Summer—How to Adjust a Thermostat Step by Step, with Slide Presentation Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday, for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

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Best of the Inbox

March 3, 2011

Q & A Q: You’re in a mansion and the power’s out. You see a green door and a red door. Pick one (it doesn’t matter which). Now you see a purple door and an orange door. Pick one (again, it doesn’t matter which you pick). Now you see a door with a golden handle [...]

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Best of the Inbox

October 1, 2010

Four-Minute Management Course LESSON 1 A sales rep, an administration clerk, and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a genie comes out. The genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.” “Me first! Me first!” says the admin clerk. “I want to [...]

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Best of The Inbox

July 1, 2010

Dearest Redneck Son… I’m writing this slow because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your pa read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of your home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you our new address because the [...]

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Best of The Inbox – June 2010

June 1, 2010

Only a Southerner Knows Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don’t “have” them, you “PITCH” them. Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up “a mess” . . . and we ain’t givin’ our secrets away [...]

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Best of The Inbox

May 1, 2010

Foolish Quiz Are you the weakest link? Below are four questions. You have to answer them quickly. Don’t take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK? Let’s find out just how clever you really are. Ready? First Question: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? [...]

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Best of the Inbox

April 1, 2010

Punny Stuff Here are some annual winners in the International Pun Contest: 1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.” 2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, “Dam!” [...]

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Best of The Inbox

March 1, 2010

Confessions of a Challenged Senior I thought about the thirty-year business I ran with 1,800 employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos and pictures, and communicated with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my 7 kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids, and 2 great-grandkids could communicate [...]

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Best of the Inbox

February 1, 2010

Riddles Test your brilliance. Answers follow below. 1. If a plane crashed on the border of England and Scotland, where would they bury the survivors? 2. You’re a bus driver. At the first stop, 4 people get on. At the second stop, 8 people on, at the third stop, 2 people get off and, at [...]

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Best of the Inbox

January 1, 2010

The Spanish Class A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. ‘House’ for instance, is feminine: ‘la casa..’ ‘Pencil,’ however, is masculine: ‘el lapiz.’ A student asked, ‘What gender is ‘computer’?’ Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into [...]

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Best of the Inbox

November 8, 2009

Police Call This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing [...]

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Help Wanted

November 8, 2009

Seriously dysfunctional family seeks professional worrier. Must be experienced in the art of hand-wringing and floor-pacing, and must be able to chew fingernails down into the quick. Gray hair and a permanent crease between the eyebrows is a plus. Relaxed persons with a laid-back attitude need not apply. A formal degree is not required. However, [...]

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