By Tom Burns – “Rex, that girl I met last week is coming over in a few minutes with a DVD she wants me to see. Be on your best behavior. Her name is Darlene, but she uses her ‘astro-name’ Luthinia X.
by Tom Burns – My plans for that sunny fall Saturday were to plant some new azalea bushes along the back fence and then get up on the roof and patch the fireplace flashing at the roofline with some black goopy stuff. But first, the azaleas.
It was a Saturday afternoon. I lay on my back on the living room couch, staring at the ceiling. Rex lay on the floor by the couch on his back, staring at the ceiling.
By Tom Burns — This year we were going to do Halloween up right. I thought it would be fun to dress us up and go out Trick or Treating. I decided I would wear a Frankenstein mask
By Tom Burns – A friend, Amber, had come over to visit. As we sat on my back porch playing strip Monopoly, she brought something to my attention: Rex didn’t have a doghouse. “Poor Rexie,” she said. “His girlfriend Millie lives next door and has a very nice doghouse. Do you know how hard that [...]
By Tom Burns – A friend had been over, playing with Rexie. She mentioned I should take him to a dog dentist to get the tartar off his teeth. I could see dollar bills flying out the window, but I made an appointment. I packed Rex into my truck and off we went. When we [...]
Rex and I happened to be driving down the street and I noticed the storefront of a pet psychic. I just had to stop. I pulled over, parked, and took my faithful companion in, tucked under my arm. Frugal by nature, I wanted to know just how much this would cost. As I opened the [...]
Rex and I were sitting on the back porch, and it was a beautiful spring day. I had been troubled by something for several days; something of a deep philosophical nature. What gnawed away at me was that I wanted to know the meaning of life. In other words, I wondered why I am [...]
Fool’s April The roar of Rex’s truck up the driveway and into the garage signaled that soon my food bowl would be filled. Yippee! Dry dog food! Oh how I love, love, love dry dog food! Yikes! I can’t wait. Indeed, in walks Rexie and rubs my head and asks what kind of day I [...]
My cousin in Modesto had asked me to come for a long weekend and build a small deck in her backyard. Of course I agreed, but I did have one problem to contend with before I could go. The problem has four short legs, black fur, and an attitude. “Rex, I’m going to Cousin Susan’s [...]
ValenTime Rex was asleep on his back in the hammock on the rear porch. He lay peacefully in the afternoon sun, bushed from a rather taxing morning: He had only had three naps before noon. “Rex. Rex, wake up.” He ignored me, a most irritating habit of his. “Come, you slacker! I know you’re trying [...]
The Reluctant Waiter One of my New Year’s resolutions was to be more charitable. I don’t have much, but I have a lot more than most people on this planet. I decided to take Rex for a walk in downtown Monterey, and look for someone to be charitable to. An elderly lady hobbled down the [...]
Rex and I sat on the front porch, sharing a peanut butter sandwich. I’d tear off little tidbits and he’d theatrically masticate and make a big scene with each bite and swallow. It had been the first time he’d eaten in a week. A week ago Rex had caught Mille, his English sheepdog girlfriend who [...]
Tense Tents It had been a while since Rexie and I had been camping down in Big Sur. As I dragged out the tent, stove, ice chest, lantern, and box of firewood from the garage, Rex wandered by. He saw the camping equipment and started to twirl with excitement. “What say we give ol’ Kirk [...]
And to the Vet We Go Rex was lying on his back in the back yard enveloped in total abandon as I scratched his belly. He was in such ecstasy he did not even wag his tail. His tongue was hanging out of his mouth and his eyes were half closed. Occasionally I would hit [...]
Back to School Rex was driving me crazy. Again. He was doing things to deliberately drive me nuts, and he almost had me ready to check into the loony bin. He would lay his head on my chest at night, and breathe doggy breath right into my face. When I tried to admonish him for [...]
I saw what appeared to be a small, tapered canine appendage sticking out from behind the couch. “Little Rexie, little Rexie, little Rexie, oh where could he be?” The appendage, that being the tail of a small black dachshund, began to whip back and forth: evidently he was hiding from me and had been discovered. [...]
