Riddles
Test your brilliance. Answers follow below.
1. If a plane crashed on the border of England and Scotland, where would they bury the survivors?
2. You’re a bus driver. At the first stop, 4 people get on. At the second stop, 8 people on, at the third stop, 2 people get off and, at the fourth stop, everyone gets off. The question is, what color are the bus driver’s eyes?
3. What never gets any wetter, no matter how much it rains?
4. A man went outside in the pouring rain with no protection, but not a hair on his head got wet. How come?
5. David’s father has three sons: Snap, Crackle, and _____ ?
6. What has a mouth but doesn’t eat, a bank with no money, a bed but doesn’t sleep, and waves but has no hands?
7. A cowboy rode to an inn on Friday. He stayed two nights and left on Friday. How could that be?
8. If the red house is on the right side and the blue house is on the left side, where’s the white house?
ANSWERS
1. You don’t bury survivors.
2. The same as yours, you’re the bus driver.
3. The sea.
4. He was bald.
5. David.
6. A river.
7. His horse was called Friday.
8. Washington, D.C.
New Virus Alert!
It seems there’s a virus called the “Senile Virus” that even the most advanced programs of Norton and McAfee cannot take care of… so be warned! The virus appears to affect those who were born before 1960.
Symptoms of the Senile Virus:
Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.
Causes you to send blank e-mail.
Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person.
Causes you to send e-mail back to the person who sent it to you.
Causes you to forget to attach attachments.
Causes you to hit “SEND” before you’ve finished the e-mail.
At least, I THINK that’s what they told me…
Oxymorons
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why do “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?
7. Why do “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?
8. Why do “tug” boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing “Take me out to the ballgame” when we’re already there?
10. Why are they called “stands” when they’re made for sitting?
11. Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?
12. Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?
14. Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?
15. Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world’s a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you’re cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come “abbreviated” is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?
25. Christmas: What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
