JC Penney announced in March that it cut 1,500 jobs, but few people know that the company also received the coveted Mother Teresa Award for compassionate termination. On the day they were axed, employees reportedly broke down in tears. But…

As we all know, healthcare costs have risen beyond anything we could’ve imagined back in the “good old days” when insurance-driven treatment decisions were still just a CEO’s wet dream. Deductibles and co-pays are tough even for people with insurance,…

The life of a freelance writer is filled with freedom! Freedom from cubicle envy. Freedom from boring staff meetings and stolen lunches. Freedom from punching time clocks—or coworkers. And best of all, some writers even break free of the persistent…

Fuzzy navels are big news lately. No, I don’t mean the mixed drink with the funny name. I’m talking about real human belly buttons stuffed with mysterious filling, not unlike the concoction that made Twinkies famous. (Gimme a hanky, I’m…

By Mary Tompsett – Well, the “season of giving” is over but we blabbermouths agree it’s never out of season to give advice. Being a know-it-all is a lonely road, yet it’s my true calling. And what better way to…

by Mary Tompsett – Homeostasis is the tendency of a system to seek stability. Thus, the weight you lost will inevitably slither back on within minutes of zipping up your “skinny” pants. Speaking of pants, I have in my furry…

By Mary Tompsett – Instead of my usual blather, this movie review will demonstrate my intellectual perspicacity, which is a fancy term for the brain’s capacity to sweat. My qualifications? Well, I’ve been watching movies since forever and have never…

By Mary Tompsett – An endless national obsession continues to pervade our culture. That’s right, I’m talking about the unremitting influence of socks and violets. Well, I live with big-time violets everyday. African violets. And frankly, I don’t see how…

by Mary Tompsett – Sex and death are always ripe for humor. Woody Allen said he didn’t mind dying, he just didn’t want to be there when it happened. Ditto for sex in a ho-hum relationship: I’m kinda tired, just…

By Mary Tompsett – California now has lifeguards who can swim up to 40 mph. Man, talk about a kickass crawl stroke! And since every one of these speedy new guards is named EMILY, we can assume all the males…

By Mary Tompsett – People have been yabbering about The Hunger Games. Holy hip fat, what a great name! Finally, a diet club we can trust. Skip the lecture and weigh-in and let us belly up to play a round…

by Mary Tompsett – I never got into the breeding scene. In retrospect, I view this as having had years of practicing really thoughtful sex. However, I’m a bit peeved that my efforts to avoid mucking up the gene pool…

by Mary Tompsett – Science ain’t just interesting, it can also be righteously creepy. You probably already know this, but household dust is mostly cast-off skin cells. Oh, yucky poo! Imagine someone else’s flakes coating the bowl of M&Ms, not…

by Mary Tompsett – Texting and tweeting are giving the English language a “crater face” of acne. I suggest we slather on the Clearasil by using more hoity-toity words that make us sound classy— to anyone who doesn’t know what…

By Mary Tompsett – Some folks say we’re in for a nasty winter if the squirrels have grown extra tufts of fur on their ears and legs. Around here, however, the most dependable mammalian forecasters aren’t hirsute rodents. No, they’re…

by Mary Tompsett – Said the shepherd boy to the little lamb…do I smell like you smell?? Lo! I bring good tidings to all shepherds and unclean accountants! At last, we can quit chowing down on TUMS now that county…