Thought Drops II

by Debbie Harris — I wonder if anyone has ever gotten their glue stick confused with their Chapstick. With really talkative people, you could swap the two when you want them to be quiet.

Am I the only person who thought that yams and sweet potatoes were the same vegetable?

If rum balls have rum in them, how come coffee cake doesn’t have coffee in it?

Pot smokers: I’m happy for your new found freedom. However, please remember . . . you stink.

I have trouble with the concept of marijuana being “recreational.” Does that mean smokers have to do it in a Winnebago? I would prefer that to their doing it outside where everyone can smell it. I have a neighbor who gets “recreational” every morning (either that or we have a roving skunk on a schedule). It stinks.

Biking is recreational, but what if bicycle tires emitted a putrid odor every time they made a rotation? It would stink!

And just because you visited with Mary Jane outside, doesn’t mean she’s completely gone when you go inside. So remember when you go the grocery store post-toke to get your salty munchies and your sweet munchies . . . you stink!

I think we’re getting to the point with the gender identity issue that we need new pronouns and ways of addressing people to help us with the people whose gender we can’t figure out. Sir and Ma’am just don’t cut it anymore. If changing to new terms is too complicated, we can always stay with avoiding pronouns, calling people “Hon,” (but that one can get you into trouble) referring to them as “Folks” or “this/that person/human/individual.” If we mess up, we can pretend we have a speech disorder.

I was thinking about procrastinating today but I decided to do it tomorrow.

Is there something wrong with this picture? I saw a guy with a tattoo that said, “The Finer Things in Life” shopping at the 99 Cent Store. Maybe he wasn’t speaking materially.

I saw a product that promoted itself as “Single Use Eye Drops.” Can eye drops be used more than once? Both my parents use eye drops and I’ve never seen either one of them try to squeeze them out and store them for later use. Does the claim mean that no one else should use someone’s eye drops container? There’s only one treatment in the bottle? If anyone ever offers you used eye drops, say no.

Will the new share-the-restroom laws reduce our facilities? Most business with restrooms have two—one for men and one for women. Now that we’ll be sharing, will they be required to only have one? Oh the lines … lines … lines.

Is it treasonous to watch a British murder mystery on Fourth of July?

Am I the only one who cringes when I see a painfully thin person smoking? Maybe they should eat the cigarette . . . or something else instead of the cigarette!

Who names prescription drugs? Seems to me they are named after indigenous tribes, whose syllables might even involve a tongue click or a choking sound made from the back of the throat. Some appear to be named by Dr. Seuss. Maybe the manufacturers just enjoy watching people struggling to pronounce them and laugh at their attempts. May they get cramps in their tongues for no reason.

And may you have a marvelous March!

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