Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems.

by Daria James — Lucy is our four-year-old, 50 pound, terrier-mix dog-daughter. She is not a Pitbull and her papers clearly state that. We adopted her from a shelter in Ohio when she was two years old (in dog years), that’s a double rescue, if you ask me. We do not know the life she lived before we met. I do not wonder about her past, I am happy she came into our lives. I do reconsider that decision when I have to walk her in the cold East Coast winter, especially when it is raining. Nevertheless, this is our life now.

She is a noble beast who loves to cuddle with us and chase squirrels because they are little furry hoodlums that keep breaking our bird feeders like some little Furryfellas gang. Recently, I took my dog for her yearly physical; the vet gave her four shots and said she was a fine healthy girl and gave her a dog biscuit. She then proceeded to charge me an amount of money someone could have used to make a car payment, or buy a Louis Vuitton keychain, depending on your priorities here.

Then she said to watch her for the next 24 hours and look for any signs of depression. Depression?! My dog?! She has a better life than the one I had when I was her age. Why would she get depressed? I am depressed. I just paid you all this money. But sure, I will keep an eye on her. If she starts listening to Dashboard Confessional I will give you a rang. Then we drove home.

I do not mean to sound like one of those baby boomers, but, when I was growing up in México I used to take my dog to the free vet once a year for his rabies shot. That was it. When he got a dog-ingrown toenail, I used my dad’s metal filer and some scissors to cut that off. He totally hated the alcohol part, a necessary precaution may I add. Back then, I did not have internet, or a computer. I just figured out what to do with the scarce resources I had available. Today my daughter has Google and a tablet with Wi-Fi.

Times are a-changing I tell you, but so am I, why? Because you have to keep up. Even if you disapprove of the new generational gadgets, deteriorating customs and courtesies, and the overall hypersensitivity. I consider myself hip because I know what is cool; if you get that musical reference you are probably older than I am.

Some of the keys to succeed in this new modern world are having friends from diverse circles and different age groups. We all have different points of view because we grew up with different socioeconomic backgrounds. We can probably come together in one of those Venn diagrams.
I have met people from similar backgrounds as mine, but our stories differ. I chose a different path. I do not stop.

Some countries do not have enough medical resources to care for their people. In America, a dog’s life can be the American dream of some. I mean you could belong to an eccentric millionaire who decides she wants to clone you twice! Cloning your dog is way cooler than just setting your money on fire, that’s just reckless. Unless you do it to make a statement, like the Joker did in the Dark Knight. He is not a criminal for the money; he is in it for the thrills. It does not matter what some pop star claim. Nobody loves cheap thrills. Thrills cost money.

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