Hard To Swallow
A man was very proud of his guard dog. He would leave it to roam free in the garden to show the world his house was guarded.
One day a woman knocked at his door. “Is that your big dog outside?”
Wondering how she had got past him he said “Yes why?”
She said I’m sorry but my dog just killed him!”
“What??” Roared the man “What kind of dog have you got??”
“A Peke,” replied the woman.
“A Peke??? How could that little thing kill my big fine guard dog?”
“I think it got stuck in his throat!” replied the woman.
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he’d like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl’s parent’s house and meets his girlfriend at the door. “Oh, I’m so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!”
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl’s parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. Ten minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, “I had no idea you were this religious.”
The boy turns and whispers back, “I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.”