Q. How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A. The cow sat down
This blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification.
The blonde driver looks all around in her purse and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer.”
“Well, do you have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop.
The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and says, “I do have this picture of me.”
“Let me see it,” says the cop. She holds up the mirror and looks in it. Then she says, “Sorry. If I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have stopped you.”
One day a blonde decided to go horse back riding.
After a very long search, she finally found a horse she thought she could ride. Things started off well enough, slowly trotting along, but soon the undulations started going faster and faster.
Being unexperienced at horseback riding the blonde started to fall off. She tried everything, grabbing the mane, then she tried to grab the saddle, but could not hold on.
Seconds before falling off, the horse finally stopped, allowing her to get off, and gratefully thank the shopper for unplugging the mechanical horse as they were about to enter the department store.
Stand Up Comic
A blonde was suspected of cheating on her 8th grade final exams. The teacher brought her to the front of the room and told to sit and stay quiet while he proceeded to mangle her test.
As he did this, the blonde started to laugh.
Getting even more furious, he threw the test on the ground and stomped up and down on it leaving foot prints on several ripped pages.
The blonde laughed even louder.
He was livid, finally taking her test and shredding it.
Now, the blonde was laughing uproariously.
The teacher, somewhat more calm but still red looked over and asked, “What’s so funny?”
“While you weren’t looking, I stood up three times.”
The Football Game
A blond guy goes to a football game and finds his place in the bleachers. After a while, someone far behind him yells, “Hey, George.”
The blond gets up and scans the crowd behind him. Not seeing anyone he recognizes, he sits down.
Some time later, someone yells again, “Hey, George.”
The blond gets up again and looks around. Seeing no one he knows, he sits down.
A third time someone yells, “Hey, George.”
Finally, the blond gets up, turns around and yells back, “Knock it off! My name’s not George.”