Free jokes (all we can afford).

This Month’s Senior Joke

Two elderly people living in Ft. Myers, he was a widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big arena in the Clubhouse.

The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, “Will you marry me?”

After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, “Yes. Yes, I will!”

The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places.

Next morning, he was troubled. “Did she say ‘yes’ or did she say ‘no’?” He couldn’t remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.

First, he explained that he didn’t remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, “When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ‘Yes’ or did you say ‘No’?”

He was delighted to hear her say, “Why, I said, ‘Yes, yes I will’ and I meant it with all my heart.” Then she continued, “And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn’t remember who had asked me.”

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This Month’s Irish Joke

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O’Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she’s in tears.

He says, “So what’s bothering you, Mary, my dear?”

She says, “Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.”

The priest says, “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?”

She says, “That he did, Father.”

The priest says, “What did he ask, Mary?”

She says, “He said, ‘Please, Mary, put down that damn gun.”

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Three Men on a Hike

Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed: “God, please give me the strength to cross the river.”

Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about two hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed: “God, please give me the strength and the tools to cross the river.”

Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed: “God, please give me the strength, the tools, and the intelligence to cross the river.”

Poof! He was turned into a woman.

She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards upstream, and walked across the bridge.

Foolish Jr. Laughs

Jokes to tell the Grandkids

Q: Why was the computer so angry?

A: Because it had a chip on its shoulder.

Q: Why did the computer get glasses?

A: To improve its web sight.

Q: Why did the computer sneeze?

A: It had a virus.

Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on?

A: It let out a little wine.

Q: What did the water say to the boat?

A: Nothing, it just waved.