August 2009

The Head Fool Speaks

August 4, 2009

On September 12, Paula Poundstone is coming to the Golden State Theatre with a truckload of laughs. We along with the Golden State Theatre crew are giving away 15 pairs of tickets to see one of the funniest comedians of this generation. For a chance to win, all you have to do is email your [...]

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Ye Old Limerick

August 4, 2009
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Housing Bubble Babble

August 4, 2009

I’m going to hell. Granted, it’s a direct flight and no doubt “the trip of a lifetime.” Still…. Let’s start at the beginning. I work at “Bookworms & Tapeworms,” a book/music store that also sells items one might term “spiritual.” My sales motivation lies not in earning a commission, but in the irrational hope that [...]

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Father’s Day

August 4, 2009

What can a child do for dad on Father’s Day? This “holiday” conjures up images of wowing dad with a card, a fishing reel, or a trip somewhere. The feeling, however, is not the same as the day set aside for mom. After all, mother struggled for nine months to give you life, incurring every [...]

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Adventures with Rex

August 4, 2009

Rememories I had been lying on the couch listening to my pirated CD of Abba Sings the Blues. It was a dreary Saturday morning, and I was feeling a little sorry for myself. The doggy door in the back door made that familiar swooshing sound, and soon my little comrade sauntered into the living room, [...]

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Foolish Thought

August 4, 2009
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Sticks and Stones and the Power of Words

August 4, 2009

by Leeuna Foster Words are very useful to us as humans. Without them we would be reduced to drawing little pictures on cave walls. However, they should be used with caution, despite the fact that they have been around almost as long as the Bush Administration. Words can be dangerous when used haphazardly and without [...]

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The Expiration Date – The Ex-stacy of Ex-orcism

August 4, 2009

By Robyn Justo Ok, I’ll admit it. The first few weeks after a break-up (even if I initiated it and was the first to find the closest ex-it), I shouldn’t be around anyone. I’m not fit for human consumption. All I can think about is him. The good, the bad, the ugly, what he did, [...]

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Unstable

August 4, 2009

By Ted Gargiulo My dad used to complain of horse pains. None of us knew what horse pains were. To this day, I haven’t met anyone outside our immediate family who’s familiar with the infirmity-except maybe a horse. More peculiar than the condition itself was the pleasure Dad took in knowing that nobody understood him. [...]

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Foolish Jr. Laughs

August 4, 2009
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Fool Laughs

August 4, 2009

Hillbilly Birth Deep in the backwoods, a hillbilly’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, “Here. You hold this high so I can see what I’m doing!” [...]

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A Penny Saved

August 4, 2009

A Penny Saved The American economy is in the toilet. It’s no secret. Bad loans and corporate greed have finally caught up to us and the result is nothing short of catastrophic. There is no telling how deep an economic hole this will ultimately create. Things have become so bad, in fact, that the United [...]

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Girls Who Wear Glasses

August 4, 2009

I became a girl who wore glasses when I was just a little thing, about seven years old, if my memory serves me correctly-and it’s possible that it doesn’t as that was a long time ago. I always had to go to Charlotte to an eye specialist as my vision problem was not something that [...]

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Cartoon

August 4, 2009
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So It Goes by Jason Love

August 4, 2009

Sports It’s that time again-time to isolate half of you by talking about sports. It’s just that sports is the only thing on TV that doesn’t make me want to jump out a window. My addiction started early, in pee wee soccer. When you’re four feet tall, you don’t understand the rules, per se; you [...]

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I Do NOT Have Closet-phobia

August 4, 2009

I’m terrorized by my closet. Like a stranger walking into a rough neighborhood for the first time, careful not to make eye contact with anyone, I have to sneak up on it. Why? Well, on the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory, my score on the “Sensation” dimension slumps right into the cellar, down there with the musty [...]

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Sammon Says – The Great Predicted Swine Flu

August 4, 2009

Here we go again. I predicted the swine flu epidemic four months before it happened, and once again, I have to explain to a dull world that doesn’t recognize talent. The kind of uncomprehending world that makes Lady GaGa a star. I wrote a list of predictions for the year 2009 back on New Year’s [...]

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