Foolish Questions – Independence Daze

By Aaron S. Birk

The sun is out a little more, the puppies are frolicking, and the rockets bursting in air in some portions of our city shed their warm and sulfurous glow, oh the smells of July! You have to wonder if the founding fathers foresaw the party that Independence Day would become. The entire month of July will undoubtedly be full of fast bikes, bursting rockets, and harmless debauchery. What better way to hail our independence? Now to the questions…

Cortni Knox
Super-Mom
Seaside, CA

Q: What do you think about the sale of fireworks?

A: I think they should just be in a show, I hate having to listen to them at home. It’s like having a booth to sell beer and hating all the beer cans lying around afterwards.

Q: Do you think the founding fathers intended for the 4th of July to become such a wild party?

A: Well, they did make it a national holiday, and they were Americans, so what did they expect? They made holidays thinking we could have an excuse to party on just those days and then we made up some of our own birthdays, 4:20… sick days.

Q: Why do some women have to have so many pillows on the bed?

A: So when your spouse is pissing you off you can make a border.

Michele Annereau
Bicycle Queen
Monterey, CA

Q: What do you think about fireworks?

A: I think if we don’t have them that it’s unpatriotic.

Q: What will you be doing on the 4th of July?

A: Making my own fireworks… like the Nubmaker 3!

Q: Did you know “The Star-Spangled Banner” was written to the melody of a drinking song?

A: That makes sense, I mean, come on! If anyone thinks of our history, it was about little pubs, what song didn’t start that way?

Steinbeck
Cannery Row

Q: What do you think about fireworks?

A: Love them as a representation of life. All noise and flash and then POP it’s over.

Q: Did the founding fathers think it would be such a party?

A: I sure hope they did. Ben Franklin was a party animal, you know, loved to get dogs drunk.

Q: How will you be celebrating your Independence Day?

A: Man, look at me! I’m a statue with no legs. I’ll just stand here like this waiting for Doc.