October 2008

Stunted

October 9, 2008

Are birthdays aging you? Have toxins in candle smoke and cheap frosting eroded your physical prowess? Well, buck up, fellow silverbacks!! Myriad folks—almost a plethora—now practice…what’s that Chinese exercise? Tie Cheese. Just kidding, y’all know it’s Chai Tea, though many athletes wonder if sipping tea counts as exercise. But poor muscle tone can result in [...]

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size MATTERS

October 9, 2008

Aside from the regular cackling heard during “girl’s night out” regarding this column’s title, the axiom’s validity can now be heard on the lips of disgruntled grocery store patrons everywhere. Let’s clarify what we’re shopping for here. There needs to be some “bulk” in the supermarket products we buy, or our price-per-pound will seem like [...]

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Corollary to the Missing Sock Phenomenon

October 9, 2008

Everyone is well familiar with the uncannily frequent experience of opening a dryer into which a dozen pair of socks have been transferred from the washer, to find only eighteen of the original twenty-four socks. There are never three pair missing; there is always a loss of six socks from each of six different sets, [...]

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