Embarrassing Medical Exams
True stories as told by the doctors themselves…
1. A man comes into the ER and yells, “My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab!” I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly, I noticed that there were several cabs-and I was in the wrong one.2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall. “Big breaths,” I instructed. “Yes, they used to be,” replied the patient. Read the rest of this article »

Fat Mary ( to Larry), “Why do we tarry?
“Our love is so firm, we must marry!”
Said Larry (to Mary)
“That’s really scary
for you, ‘cross the threshold, to carry!”
-Sir Henry de TunahunaAnd three by David Rasch: Read the rest of this article »

A mangy-looking guy goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “No way, pal. I don’t think you can pay for it.”"You’re right,” the guy says. “I don’t have any money, but if I show you something you haven’t seen before, will you give me a drink?”

“You have a deal, my friend,” says the bartender.

The guy reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, down the side of the bar, across the room, up the piano, onto the keyboard, and starts playing Gershwin music. The hamster can really play.

“You’re right… I’ve never seen anything like that before,” says the bartender. “That hamster is really gifted.” Read the rest of this article »

Dear Will,
My friends think I’m crazy because I feed my dog steak. But I don’t see anything wrong with it. After all, he’s the best buddy I’ve ever had! What do they think, he’s some sort of animal or something? If they had their way, I’d probably be feeding him dog food every day! But I think that’s messed up.

My question is, should I listen to them because I know they’re right and I’m nuts? Or should I slash their tires and shoot their cat because they hate my dog?

Signed, Confused Loyalties… in Carmel Valley

Dear Confused Loyalties… in Carmel Valley, Read the rest of this article »

FoolishTimes is 5 Years old! Come Join the Fun!

Just in case the above poster is too hard to read (who are we kidding, we know it’s hard to read, we just find it funny watching you squint) we are listing all the features of the party in a legible fashion right here.

Where:
Golden State Theatre - 417 Alvarado St in Old Downtown Monterey

Time:
Saturday August 23rd - From 4:30pm to 8:45pm

What:

• Double Feature Cinema: “Wall-e” and “Hold That Ghost”
• Giveaways, Prizes and other Surprises
• Free Pizza and Coca Cola products
• First 50 Guest get a free t-Shirt

Schedule:
Movie: “Wall-e” at 4:30pm
Party: 6:10pm
Movie: “Hold That Ghost” at 7:00pm
Encore: “Wall-e” at 8:45pm

Price: $8
(Psstt… hey… Come closer. If you tell them you’ve come for the Foolish Times Party they’ll let you in for $5!!! That means you can still buy your Sunday morning Starbucks. What a way to work the system eh?)

Recap:
3 Movies!
Free Pizza!
Free Coke!
Lots of other free gifts!

See Ya There!